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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27576851">Cold As Ice And Everything Nice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/harriblou/pseuds/harriblou'>harriblou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Flirting, Body Worship, Feminization, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Harry Styles Calls Louis Tomlinson Pet Names, Himbo Harry, Hockey Player Harry, Ice Skater Louis, Ice Skating, Insecure Louis, Louis Tomlinson-centric, Shy Louis, lots of fluff, mentions of past character death, soft louis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:29:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27576851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/harriblou/pseuds/harriblou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A young boy about Harry’s age was zoomed into the camera, blushing a bright red and breathing heavily and as he bowed. The crowd was cheering for him loudly and every movement he made was bashful and flustered. He had on a very nice skate dress that was purple. His name, hometown, skate scores, and all sorts of information was in a banner on the bottom half of the screen. He was really young, especially compared to all the other competitors, which was the second thing he noticed. </p><p>The first was that the boy was easily the prettiest in the entire world, the prettiest boy Harry’s ever seen. He felt his asthma squeeze his throat and his heart beat faster and his hands get a little more clammy. </p><p>or in which Louis is a professional ice-skater and he meets Harry, who offers to clean the ice for him</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bottom Louis Fic Fest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cold As Ice And Everything Nice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <strong> Prompt Prompt 444: shy ice skater Louis and ice cleaner Harry (Louis in super cute ice-skating outfits would be amazing)<strong></strong></strong>
</p><p> </p><p>  HI! Thank you to the BLFF moderators and readers and writers. You're all amazing and wonderful and I have so much love for every single one of you. Literally the sweetest people ever, so kind and sweet and lovely and AH! I love you. All of you. </p><p> </p><p>  Louis is extremely soft and shy and cuddly in this. He's smart and super talented and he's so wonderful, in real life and hopefully in my fic. He just needs to come out of his shell a bit. Harry is himbo-y to me at least. Harry dotes on Louis, not necessarily because of Louis' hardships but because that's the nature of their relationship.</p><p> </p><p>  Also Hua is Chinese, Maksim is Russian, and June is Black-Mexican. It's not mentioned(?) and they're background characters, but still. I thought it mattered. And they're based off real people LOL. hi neighbor June and her gf Hua!</p><p> </p><p>  <br/><strong>Warnings: Touches on the death of Louis' mother, but not too graphically. Louis does have one panic attack but I tried not to describe anything too much because I wanted it to be a testament to Louis' strength and his heart that pushes on. lol is that cheesy? </strong></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Children were skidding across the ice with big grins on their faces, laughing with each teetered step or clutching onto their parents’ arms with fear. Grey breaths and pink cheeks, bundled in big winter gear and beanies, looking every bit of babies to the ice as they were, fresh from their first skating lessons.</p><p>Louis smiled from his spot behind the glass in the private hallway that tunneled to the empty locker rooms. Everything was simple for them, ice-skating was something they were signed up to keep them busy during the winter. It was nothing but fun for them, or at least it was after they learned to fall properly. </p><p>The sport was fun, definitely. It was the only thing that put a smile on his face most days, it seems. But it wasn’t just fun for him like it was for the children in this distance. </p><p>Ice-skating has always been more. It was only when he first stepped foot on the ice—gripping his mother’s glove covered hands with wide eyes and panicked breaths, flapping awkwardly like Bambi to keep himself upright—did he feel like he was breathing. </p><p>Walking with his two feet on the ground didn't come close to the freedom he felt gliding across the ice. He was invincible, he felt like he was the closest he’d be to home. He felt powerful and at peace all at once. Ice-skating was fun, but it was his air. Without it, he’d be lifeless. </p><p>“Funny to think that maybe one day, one of them suckers might be you,” A hand clapped on his back, startling him from the constant replays of when he was their age and skating. </p><p>At their age, seven maybe, he’d already been scouted by Maksim and Hua, had won countless junior competitions in little Doncaster. It was fun, but it wasn’t anything so simple. It was fun, but it was the only thing he ever did as a child. These kids only spent an hour and a half for their lessons, then went home and indulged in other hobbies. He was dedicated and disciplined by this time with rigorous training, but maybe a child just learning the hang of it now could grow up to beat him. </p><p>Doubtedly. </p><p>Still, Louis liked to hope that maybe one of these kids will grow up to find liberty and happiness in the sport and pursue it. It was the best decision he’d ever made and he wanted everyone to know the feeling of freedom that ice-skating had to offer.</p><p>“Well, I like to think that we’ve trained Lou well enough that his records won’t get beat out until after these little ones are done with skating,” Hua responded to Maksim’s comment.</p><p>Louis hummed. “I hope not. What’s the fun in the games if there’s no one to keep you on your toes?”</p><p>“But no one has kept you on your toes since you were fourteen. It’s all uneventful now, competition-wise. But it’s still fun to watch you twirl like a pretty ballerina.”</p><p>“I am a pretty ballerina. A pretty ice ballerina,” He insisted. </p><p>“Yeah, well, has Miss Pretty Ice Ballerina finished stretching?” Maksim interrupted.</p><p>Louis nodded, shaking his legs out and still feeling the looseness and the burn in his limbs. His body was in a constant state of soreness it seemed and his muscles were on fire with every movement. It was one of the greatest feelings, the reminder of Louis’ hard work that lit up his limbs was a reward. </p><p>“All of them?” </p><p>“Yes!” Louis giggled, hand covering his mouth. “I am responsible and I take care of myself, no matter how little faith you have in me.”</p><p>Maksim and Hua shared a look and he hated when they did this; when they took his words seriously and communicated in secret glances in front of him. It was a lighthearted joke. He was fine. </p><p>“There’s no harm in double-checking. Humor your old ones, it’s our jobs to over-worry,” Hua said gently, always trying to keep the peace. Her accent was just as thick as Maksim’s, but Louis hardly noticed them anymore. He was only reminded when they argued; when he felt lost and scared and foreign to everything around him when they scolded him. </p><p>Louis frowned. “Well, I’m fine. I’m not a child who’s still unsure about everything. Especially not while I’m skating. This is more than just my career and I’ve managed quite fine, I’d say.”</p><p>It was tense for a short moment, the distant giggles from the young skaters starting to fade away as they exited the rink entirely. They left, being tended to by a parent, chatting excitedly with bright smiles and their guardian listening with a grin to match. It made his chest ache for a quick second but he focused on the heavy silence that surrounded them. </p><p>Moments like these reminded Louis of how much pressure he constantly felt; to be great, to be the best, to be fine. He was used to the weight and he managed perfectly, he knew he did. He wouldn’t be where he was if he didn’t know how to balance everything. And his coaches always teetered on his scale, trying to push this narrative of a broken boy, and force Louis into believing that he was falling apart. </p><p>They’d gotten into nasty arguments, ones that left Louis in tears and feeling lonely, and he’d hoped they’d given up on changing his mind. He was fine and he didn’t need anybody to tell him different. </p><p>Maksim sighed. “I’ve got a date with that nice lady you two set me up with, the one from the physiotherapy place.”</p><p>Hua and Louis both laughed, high and loud, the heavy mood lifted suddenly. She clapped her hands and Maksim rolled his eyes, grumpy and embarrassed. “Where to?”</p><p>“Wine tasting at that pub in Soho. It’s some event she mentioned, so I reserved tickets and that’s all I’m speaking on this matter until Louis’ done giving me a good practice session on the rink we reserved for two hours.” He tried to sound stern, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, but Hua teased him still.  </p><p>Louis laughed, untucking his hands from his big coat to sit on the cold metal bench. He figured he could lace up while listening to their banter. They followed him the short distance, still bickering in even thicker accents, and Louis bent over and threw off his vans. </p><p>He loved them both, they were his family. They’d been there from the beginning, they saw his talent and had hope in him. They all took care of each other. They were all he had left. </p><p>“Start wearing socks with your normal shoes, that doesn’t help with your blisters.” Hua scolded. </p><p>Maksim said something along the same lines as he dug through the duffle bag he carried in with him. He tossed over the athletic tape Louis used on his blisters and his muscles and Louis caught it with ease. </p><p>Louis rolled his eyes stubbornly as Hua gave him a look and put on the skin-colored socks that went with his dress. </p><p>It was a new costume that Caroline designed for him, a very short dress that was sparkling with ruby red jewels all over the bodice. It looked tight and Louis worried that he wouldn’t be able to skate in it, so today was a test run for the outfit. He prayed it didn’t tear in half on the ice.</p><p>His white skates were on and he stood confidently on the rubber floor, removing his coat and feeling the tension from his body leave automatically. He looked down at his body, smoothing over the wrinkles in the skin-colored leggings, adjusting the shoulders. </p><p>It felt like a second skin and it looked like it too. It was comfortable though, whether it be because Caroline is a very good designer or because Louis’ spent a lifetime in bedazzled outfits. Maybe both. </p><p>He stared at himself in the reflection of the glass in the empty room. He looked better than he had before, he looked great. He wasn’t the timid boy who was terrified of himself. Louis was a beautiful, sparkling athlete who was ready to perform. </p><p>The outfit was tight, accentuating the dip in his waist and when he turned, the skirt skimmed just past his bum. When he moved, it swayed with him, showing glimpses of his curvy body. The long sleeves of the dress exaggerated his fragility almost, but it made him feel strong. He looked endless, just lines and dips and curves. The red matched his cheeks and his lips and his eyeshadow. The shimmer on his legs caught the glare of the light. </p><p>He looked amazing. </p><p>Maksim whistled. “Absolutely stunning, you are, Zaika.”</p><p>Louis blushed, he always did even after being complimented by everyone and their mothers. He ducked his head as Hua went to tuck a lock of fringe behind his ear maternally. </p><p>“Beautiful, Xīngān, and we’re proud of you, really, but—“ And he knew where this was going. It was going to be another speech begging him to seek therapy instead of pushing himself to unhealthy limits on the ice. He was fine. </p><p>He was getting annoyed. Usually, they were pushy but after he shot them down the first time, they'll leave it. This was the second time in one day and he wasn’t going to have it. </p><p>He stomped over to the entrance of the rink, ignoring their sighs and the pang in his chest. He was fine. </p><p>He took a deep breath, staring at the expanse of white ice laid out in front of him, pushed open the gate, and felt free. </p><p>He pushed his right foot in front of the other, picking up a speed that had wind cutting at his ears and eyes. His hair was blowing and he felt himself smile. He raced along the edges, fingers trailing along the railing as he zipped up and down in straight lines. He switched between edges, leaning with the pressure of his body as he swayed in and then out. The cold sent goosebumps up his arms and tinted his cheeks pink. He shivered and couldn’t stop the giggle from bursting from his mouth. </p><p>He twirled and then spun in tight little circles until he began to feel dizzy, leaving the circle quickly with a laugh and arms spread wide as he skated across the ice again. It had been two weeks since he was on an actual rink, too busy moving his stuff into his new flat that he had to rely on using the stupid slide board in his empty living room. </p><p>Nothing compared to this feeling. </p><p>He did a couple of toe loops, swerving in and out of the imaginary poles he made note of to help him loosen his movements and break in the ice. Hua and Maksim finished lacing up and watched him from their spot on the ice by the entrance. </p><p>He waved to them like a child, smiling brightly as he lifted his right leg behind him in the air and glided backward. “Look at me!” He shouted out and they waved back, indulging in his playful energy like they always did. </p><p>He practiced a single axel jump, bouncing on the edge of the front of the blade of his skates before taking quick flight. He kept his arms in while in the air and extended them as he landed, clapping for himself cheekily and bowing with his arms extended out dramatically.</p><p>He faced the back of the rink with a fast turn and was met with a man watching him with an open-mouth. Louis made a sharp t-stop spin, body straight and confused. He stared back at him and felt himself blushing. </p><p>The man was in a big black and silver hockey jersey, an American flag patched onto the side of the arm. He had a grey hoodie on underneath and curls were peeking out from under his beanie. He was tall, broader with his oversized kit on, and was so beautiful that Louis felt his heart skip a beat. </p><p>He had pretty dark green eyes, the color sparkling in the harsh lighting of the rink, and had stubble dotting above his mouth, chin, jawline. His nose was long and he had a mole, but Louis thought they were the cutest, and his pretty lips were big and red. White teeth poked out from underneath his parted lips and his hands were big and decorated with rings when they clapped loud enough to make Louis jump.</p><p>He was gorgeous and he was staring at Louis in awe.</p><p>And Louis had seen this sort of reaction before. He’d seen it when he was a child and won all of his competitions, he’d seen it after he gave himself to the performances that won him gold at the Olympics. He’d gotten it from all kinds of people, ice-skating legends, and everyday people at the rink when he practiced. He’s seen it and he hated acknowledging that he was used to it because that made him sound and feel pretentious, but he sort of was.</p><p>People were impressed by Louis’ skill and he was grateful for each person who recognized that but never had someone as handsome as this man gave him applause and stared at Louis in wonder. </p><p>Louis turned to look at his coaches, who were looking back with concern and mumbling to each other, before turning to the man still clapping. Louis was sure his face was red and he shakily skated over to him, moving slowly and softly. </p><p>“Oh shit! Wow, that was amazing. You’re brilliant and you look absolutely beautiful. Holy shit, you’re fantastic at that. I’ve, like, watched you on the telly before. And stuff. But it’s so much more magical in person,” The man said as soon as Louis was close enough. His voice was deep and slow and Louis needed to stop getting so ahead of himself.</p><p>With only an arm’s reach between them, Louis had to swallow back his saliva at the difference in size. There was a full head‘s space between them and Louis reached right to the man’s chest. The man stopped clapping but was still staring at Louis in a way that made him fidget. His mouth was opened and in shock, oddly enough. </p><p>“Um, hi? I’m sorry, um, are you—” Louis stuttered out, unsure and shy, hands behind his back as he squeezed them together. </p><p>The man shook his head, taking one long blink before opening his green eyes to meet Louis’. He stuck a big hand out, a rose ring and lettered ones glinted in the light. His hand was big, really big, and the rings were cold but his hand was warm and it surrounded Louis’ own completely. This man was just big. It was making Louis fluster. </p><p>“Shit, sorry. I’m so rude. I’m Harry. Harry Styles, I was just here to clean the ice?” He cleared his throat and stood straighter. “I mean, I am here to clean the ice. I practice here and I thought I had selected this time slot, but Niall probably got the times wrong. He does that a lot, my friend Niall. It’s not a big deal though. I can wait. I can still clean the ice for you?”</p><p>He sent Louis a big smile and Louis tried not to swoon. Harry was still holding onto Louis’ hand, his other one coming to rest on the back of Louis’. Louis’ hand disappeared from view completely except for the tip of his thumb peeking out between all of Harry’s. He prayed as hard as he could that his hand didn’t sweat and that he didn’t embarrass himself.</p><p>It was a normal thing, to hold onto the hand of the person you’re meeting. People did it all the time, he’s seen all sorts of business professionals and even Parliament members do this. Louis needed to stop overreacting. </p><p>Harry looked at him expectantly and Louis realized that he was just staring at their joined hands and Harry’s face. Harry released his grip and Louis’ hand was welcomed by the frozen air. He tried not to pout. God, Louis hated himself. </p><p>“Oh! Um, I’m sorry. I can double-check with my coaches, maybe I got the times wrong?” Louis made a move to rush back to Maksim and Hua, desperate for fresh air so he can stop drowning in the loveliness of this sweet man. </p><p>“No, no, no! It’s okay, really. I have the keys to lock up, so I’d have to stay anyway. I don’t own the place, by the way. It’s ‘cos I know Jeff. He owns the place and he’s my friend and I could manage the place just fine since it’s your session and mine. I’ve done it before. So please, keep skating. But I should clean the ice for you, really. I should’ve done it earlier, but one of the kids started chatting with me and I couldn’t help but talk to him, you know?”</p><p>He had a way of speaking that was slow and dragged on, but then it carried on swiftly and excitedly. It was so endearing. </p><p>Harry suddenly frowned and Louis realized again that he was just staring like a lovestruck idiot. He was burning a bright enough red to match his dress and he felt it seep down to his neck. </p><p>“I’m rambling, sorry. I’ll just clean the ice, yeah? I’ll make it quick and you could definitely skate as I go, so you won’t lose your rhythm,” Harry insisted, already making a move to the big machine that Louis didn’t notice before. </p><p>It was humming quite loudly and Louis is a fool for having a one-track mind for a handsome man. </p><p>“Thank you. Um, really. You don’t have to do that, I was fine, but thank you for the offer.” </p><p>Harry grinned at him from his seat on the resurfacer, a dimple carved into his cheek as if he could score any higher in Louis’ book. He’s already made the top of the list just from his curls, probably. </p><p>“I sort of do have to. Jeff lets me practice here alone and for free super late into the night, so long as I pick up the slack from the employees he lets out early. He’d kill me if I didn’t take care of it and I’d like to pride myself in being a man of my word.” He winked and he was going to kill Louis with his charming personality and his good looks. </p><p>Louis nodded through his fiery cheeks and brought a hand up to give a little wave. His hand was so small compared to Harry’s and bringing it up in the air reminded him of the size comparison. Harry was making him lose focus. </p><p>“Right, um. I—um. I’m just going to wait with my coaches, um, it was nice meeting you,” Louis mumbled over the roar of the machine, but Harry was staring at him with big green eyes and he nodded his head with a smile. He even sent him a thumbs up from his seat. </p><p>Louis didn’t hesitate to take that as a dismissal and escaped to Maksim and Hua, skating as fast as he was earlier. He panted as he reached them, met with questioning looks and strange faces. </p><p>“What did he want?” Maksim asked. Hua was studying him with one of her looks, the one that said that she knew everything he was thinking. </p><p>“At first, he said he thought it was his session time, but then he offered to clean the ice.” He didn’t know what else to say that would explain their encounter. </p><p>Hua hummed. “Why are you red like a little crab and shaking like a fall leaf?” </p><p>Louis’ eyes widened. “Am not!”</p><p>Maksim snorted. “We could see you from all the way over here, Louis. Does little Zaika have a crush?”</p><p>Hua squealed, skidding over to pinch at his cheeks and squish his hands. “How sweet! Wait until my June hears this.”</p><p>“Please not June,” Louis groaned. He slouched his posture. June was Hua’s wife and where Hua was a little quieter, a little sterner, June was extremely loud and peppy. </p><p>“It’s not so funny when it’s you, but you were all for teasing me,” Maksim sang. </p><p>Louis ignored whatever else they tried to poke fun at him for with crossed arms and a small pout, turning to look at Harry instead. </p><p>He was whistling, big hands maneuvering the controls with ease, and bobbing his head to whatever song was coming from his white wired earbuds. He made a smooth turn as he circled the perimeter, face relaxed and calm. Louis was snapped from his daydreams about Harry and being romanced by the man when Harry looked over at him. </p><p>He gave a wave, a dimpled smile popping out again, waited for Louis to send back a twinkle of his fingers, and went back to work. Louis stared at him as discreetly as he could for the remainder of the time Harry spent on the resurfacer. </p><p>It must’ve been another ten minutes before Harry exited the rink, hopping off the machine to shove it through a side door, and shouting out, “It’s all yours!” </p><p>Louis wasn’t very productive after that. Hua scolded him for stumbling on a triple-axel leap and for his bad posture on each edge jump. Maksim had to physically move his arms into the correct position a few times because he kept looking on the sidelines to see if Harry was watching. </p><p>The curly-haired man didn’t make an appearance and Louis thanked all his lucky stars because he was doing so shitty. </p><p>Practice went on for the grueling two hours it did, Louis huffing and stomping his foot when his coaches left him for his final thirty minutes alone. It was seven-thirty on a Friday night, they had plans. Louis didn’t. So he tried to focus, pushed himself, and managed to only do half as good as he normally did.</p><p>He cursed Harry and his stupidly handsome face for distracting him and he finally came to a stop. He stood in the middle of the ice, his dress now cold with his sweat and only minimally tearing at the knees, trying to catch his breath. </p><p>It was silent, only the sound of Louis’ panting echoing in the arena. He wondered where Harry was as he gently said pushed himself in the direction of the locker rooms. </p><p>Maksim said he’d left the duffle in the third stall with Louis’ birthday as the password and he couldn’t wait to take off the dress. He just wanted to go home and cuddle with Clifford in his still unpacked flat. He finally managed to get out of the rink, still stomping with his bladed skates on the rubber flooring of the halls. </p><p>The locker room was just as empty as the rink and Louis knew it was because it was a Friday night, people had things to do and friends to hang out with. But still, it was scary how lonely everything seemed. </p><p>He undressed as quickly as he could without tearing anything once he reached the grey locker room, putting on sweats and a hoodie and fluffy socks, and a beanie. It was all he wore outside of skating, loose-fitting outfits that let his skin breathe in comparison to the tight layers of his skate costumes. </p><p>He made sure to wrap his ankles and thighs with that stupid athletic tape that Hua lived by and just as he was tying up his shoes, the door swung open. He startled, head snapping in the direction of the noise, and he was met with Harry’s beaming face. </p><p>“Hey again! I came in so I could change into my uniform, didn’t mean to scare you. Is it alright if I start getting my kit on?” Harry asked and Louis tried hard not to let his mouth drop. </p><p>This was technically a public locker room, Louis didn’t rent it out or anything. Harry had just as much right to be in here as Louis, but he still asked. Louis wasn’t sure if Harry’s politeness was making him feel like he mattered because Harry was being considerate, or because Louis was helplessly attracted to him. Both, probably. </p><p>Louis nodded his head, awkwardly waving a hand around and tucking a piece of fringe behind his hair. </p><p>Don’t embarrass yourself, Tomlinson.</p><p>“Sweet, thanks.” </p><p>He tried to swallow his nerves and focus on the color of his faded trackies, but Harry went into the locker right next to him and started stripping himself of his clothes. Right next to Louis. </p><p>He pulled off his hoodie, throwing it aside, and he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. His long torso was decorated with tattoos and packed with muscles. His arms were the same, just as big and strong as the rest of his body. He unzipped his pants, leaving him in just tight black boxers. </p><p>Louis’ mouth was opened and practically salivating before he could stop himself. He was full-on ogling as Harry whistled a tune and searched through his duffle. </p><p>“I didn’t watch you out there during your session,” Harry suddenly said, folding his hoodie up. Louis sprung into action, trying to find something to do so it wasn’t as obvious that he had sat there, completely still, and focused on Harry’s attractive body. </p><p>He ended up rifling through his bag for nothing at all. </p><p>“I really wanted to, you’re just magnificent to look at when you skate, you know. I’ve seen you on the sports network and I remember you at the Olympics. But I didn’t want to, like, intrude? On your private practice, and stuff.” Harry shrugged as if he didn’t know what to call it. He looked to Louis, whose face was the color of a tomato. </p><p>Louis cleared his throat, pinning his gaze on the slope of Harry’s nose to avoid his green eyes. He wouldn’t be able to get anything out and his blush would surely never leave. </p><p>“I, um. Thank you, that means a lot. Thank you,” He mumbled, curling his fingers into the roll of tape at the bottom of his bag. He didn’t know what else to say to the pretty man who complimented him, but he didn’t want it to be awkward so he gave him a small smile. </p><p>It seemed to please Harry because the man’s smile grew. He started strapping big padded guards onto his arm and Louis wondered what they were for. He’d never seen anything like them, but he was too shy to ask. </p><p>He adjusted a strap of velcro around his bicep, the sound being the only noise for a quick moment. </p><p>“Seriously. You’re excellent, darling. I don’t want to sound like a creep, but you’re scheduled for a private session on the same day as me next week except I’m right after you again. So is it okay if I can like, maybe, sit and watch you? Or not! I totally get it, really. I just, you know.” Harry finished lamely, grimacing as he scratched his head. </p><p>Darling.</p><p>Louis was properly swooning. </p><p>He had a soft rose color on his cheeks and he began to bite at his lip. </p><p>“Shit, I sound like a weirdo, sorry,” He laughed at himself, shaking his head. </p><p>Louis giggled too, just barely puffing out under his breath. He looked up at Harry, a bashful smile and blush on his cheeks, and Harry relaxed a tiny bit. </p><p>“It’s fine, I don’t mind at all. It’d be nice to have someone in the stands for once. Just don’t laugh at me when I fall,” Louis lifted a shoulder, hoping that Harry understood he was trying his hardest to be playful and not timid. </p><p>Harry laughed, way louder than warranted really, but Louis stood a little straighter anyways. </p><p>“Of course not! Promise,” He winked after his head poked out from the head of his jersey. “So what are you up to after this?”</p><p>Louis tried not to frown. He had absolutely nothing after this because he barely had friends and it was extremely lame. He’s fine. </p><p>“Oh, um. Nothing today, just a quiet one in, I guess.”</p><p>Harry nodded, jumping into big trackies, taking the words with ease. They were strange, loose-fitting and Louis supposed they were to go over the pads. </p><p>Hockey, Louis realized as it hit him like a truck. Harry played hockey. How dense could he be? And could Harry get any more attractive?</p><p>“Nice. Those are the best nights. I’ve got an hour here and then I’m gonna crash at home. I’m extremely jetlagged.” He sat down to strap on more padding. </p><p>Louis’ eyebrows lifted. “Where’re you flying in from?”</p><p>“Los Angeles. Just moved back and I’ve been packing and going back and forth trying to get everything settled,” Harry sighed, letting his head rest against the wooden locker door. </p><p>Oh. Did he live there? There were a thousand questions Louis had that he couldn’t ask because they were strangers. A few of them weren’t even related to Los Angeles, rather about other things. </p><p>“Los Angeles? That sounds like a nice place to live. Can’t imagine why you’d come back to London.”</p><p>Harry gave him a crooked grin. “The weather is pretty great over there, but I miss home. My job makes it hard for me to visit while I’m working, but the minute I get my few months off, I’m home.”</p><p>“That’s nice,” Louis supposed, he didn’t know what to say really. He’d never planned on getting very far into the conversation without making a fool of himself. “Are you like a teacher or something?”</p><p>It would make sense, he gets a few months off. Was Louis really dense to adulthood and responsibilities and everything that real people did? He was making a fool of himself.  </p><p>Harry cackled, stopping everything he was doing to bend slightly and hold his stomach. It was a rather ugly and obnoxious donkey laugh, but it was entirely adorable to Louis, even if it occurred at the expense of Louis’ stupid question. </p><p>“No, no. Sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s just, I’ve never gotten a teacher before,” He fixed his posture, a charming smile right on his face. He was gorgeous and Louis felt some of his embarrassment fade away. </p><p>He was still pink though, he could feel it. </p><p>“I play hockey. In America. The NHL,” Harry offered with a small shrug and a sudden interest in lacing up his skates. He had a small smile on his face still. “It’s why I’m here. Like at the rink. I like to train and stuff during the off-season.”</p><p>Oh. Oh.</p><p>“Wow,” Louis blurted. God, he felt like an idiot. A fucking teacher? Really? What the fuck even was NHL? Fucking shit, Louis didn’t know shit about hockey. Was Harry famous? Did he expect Louis to know who he was? Shit, did he just offend him?</p><p>Harry finished up his laces and began to straighten his limbs, arms raised above his head as he let out a big breath. He was stretching and it accentuated the length of his body beautifully.</p><p>“‘S not a big deal, especially not here. It’s definitely not like what you do. That’s, like, art. Hockey is just an excuse for a bunch of heavyweight Americans and Canadians to beat each other up.” </p><p>Louis was picturing it now. Harry was a pretty big mass of man and to see him push around other bigger men and win or whatever it was hockey players did was making his body tingle. </p><p>He didn’t respond, too busy drooling over Harry playing hockey, and he didn’t catch when Harry brought out his stick and a puck. </p><p>“Well, I don’t wanna take up your time talking about hockey. It was really nice meeting you, Louis. I’m gonna go and shoot a bit before it gets too late and Jeff kills me for wasting the electric bill. Feel free to stick around for however long you want. Maybe we can hang out again after our next sessions?” </p><p>Huh. Oh. Shit. </p><p>Louis nodded dumbly, in awe of how much taller Harry was on skates compared to Louis in just old worn down vans. He had to physically look up to him, which he had to do before but it was so much more drastic this time. </p><p>Harry sent him a friendly smile and started to walk away backward, waving with a hand holding up a black wooden stick. “Have a nice night Louis!”</p><p>Louis responded with his own wave a second too late, staring at the man’s retreating back. His heart was pounding in his chest for absolutely no reason at all, but it seemed to echo in the silence he was left in. </p><p>He packed his things quickly and left the arena in just a matter of two minutes, waiting outside in the dark of Friday for his Uber to arrive. He tucked his hands into his pockets and replayed all of Harry and his handsome face in his mind. </p><p>The minute he got home, Clifford greeted him with his heavy jumps that made Louis fall to the ground. They then cuddled on the couch, Louis whipped out his phone and went straight to Google. </p><p>-x-</p><p> </p><p>The days between Friday and Tuesday came as both a blur and an eternity. It passed in a frenzy of walks with Cliff, phone calls with Hua and June and Maksim, settling into his new living space, body stretches, and a lifetime of lounging around his still largely unpacked flat just waiting for Tuesday. </p><p>When it came, Louis couldn’t have begged his cabbie to drive any faster to the arena. He was practically prancing with excitement to see even a glimpse of Harry and his curls. </p><p>Hua and Maksim greeted him as they all headed to a more secluded area to wait for the general public to leave. Louis didn’t have it in him to scarf down the piece of granola bar that he’d been chewing through for the past five minutes because of his nerves. He was already laced and taped up. His eyes darted around the rink, keeping a lookout for Harry. </p><p>“Can you stop bouncing your leg? You’re shaking the bleachers,” Hua huffed. The sound of the metal clanking finally rang in Louis’ ears. </p><p>Maksim laughed when Louis at least had the decency to apologize shamefully. “If Mr. Hockey Star is going to watch you today, you’d better stop acting so scared. You can’t stumble out there like you did Friday, he’ll never ask you out.”</p><p>Louis broodily crossed his arms over his sweater. </p><p>After spending hours on multiple different Google searches, including Harry NHL LA, which then spiraled into learning about Harry Styles, Louis discovered many things about the man. </p><p>He was born and bred in the United Kingdom to an American father and a British mother. He spent a few months with his father in America every year, where he was introduced to hockey and found that he did extremely well at the sport. He then applied to American universities for it, earning himself a title as Captain during his second year and winning many awards that were too complex for Louis to understand. </p><p>He graduated and went straight to the National Hockey League, playing for the Los Angeles Kings, which has been his favorite team since he was nine. Again, Louis knew little to nothing about it, but it was impressive and admirable still. </p><p>He’s also an Aquarius, around the same age as Louis, and has been on the People’s Sexiest Men Alive list for three years and even graced the cover last year. Louis did know a thing or two about attractive men. </p><p>All in all, his hunt for information ended with Louis’ red face squealing into Clifford’s neck when he had caught himself looking at pictures of Harry at carpet events, in his uniform on the ice, post-game interviews, Instagram shots, paparazzi candids, and thirst trap modeling images for Sports Illustrated. </p><p>He had to call Hua and Maksim because they were— sadly—his only friends. They entertained his schoolgirl crush anyways, whistling once they’d stumbled upon certain pictures of Harry. </p><p>Louis was an absolute creep who was completely ashamed of himself but felt a little better knowing that he wouldn’t insult Harry by asking him if he was any good at hockey. He was the fucking captain of a championship team, for Christ’s Sake. </p><p>The arena piled out and Harry finally graced his appearance on the resurfacer. It was midday and there was plenty of staff here to clean the ice, but it seemed that Harry was happy to do it anyways. It was incredibly sweet. He was in trackies and a big hoodie, another beanie on his head. It took him a full cycle on the big machine before he noticed Louis. </p><p>He waved and smiled, big and charming, waiting for Louis to return it before going back to finish. </p><p>Louis was too eager in his wave and totally blew his cover of nonchalance, Maksim scoffed and Hua laughed at him. He got two pinches to his cheeks when he grumbled out at them. </p><p>“Don’t be grumpy, zaika,” The older man cooed. </p><p>“Men don’t like it when their partners are so moody, Xīngān,” Hua pointed out and Louis stood up. </p><p>“That’s enough, you two,” He whined, burying his cold fingers into the tight warmth of his turtleneck. His leggings were thick and clung to his legs like a nice hug, but his hands were always, always cold. </p><p>They all bickered back and forth, Louis drowning in embarrassment, and they didn’t notice Harry make his way over to them. </p><p>“I’m going to run away to the forest and become a pretty ice ballerina there so you two won’t have to pester me with your,” He trailed off once he noticed the two of them staring a bit wide-eyed behind him. He furrowed his brows. “What?”</p><p>He asked as he turned around, hands on his hips, words dying in his throat when he noticed Harry staring at him with a small smile and twinkling eyes. </p><p>He swallowed and turned back at his coaches, who were walking to the locker room to place Louis’ bag while also being obvious in staring back. He let out a breath and waddled to Harry.</p><p>There was a pane of glass between them and Harry was on the ice. Louis looked up at him and tucked away a piece of fringe to ground himself. </p><p>“Um, hi Harry,” Louis mumbled, thin lips quivering into a small smile. </p><p>“Hey, Louis! How are you today?” He asked, voice deep and smooth. Louis shivered and fumbled with his fingers. </p><p>“I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. Um, how are you?” He only stuttered once and he counted it as gold. </p><p>“I’m doing absolutely fantastic, thanks. Hey, is it still alright if I watch you skate today? I don’t want to be a bother and—” He started off in his usual confidence, but then he sounded unsure, for once it seemed, and it melted Louis’ heart. </p><p>“Yes! Yeah, um, yeah. Definitely,” Louis sounded way too excited and maybe even desperate to his own ears, but Harry’s smile widened into a show of big white teeth. </p><p>“Cool.” Harry let the word hang for a minute, staring at the younger boy while Louis tried not to burst into flames. It was very hard when Harry’s eyes were an unwavering confident green and Louis was the embodiment of demure. </p><p>“I hope I’m not coming off too strong or being an absolute twat, but would you maybe want to hang out sometime? I’m new to this side of London and I don’t have many friends other than, like, two and I’ve always admired you, so I was just thinking maybe it would be good if we got to meet for lunch or something?” Harry’s voice faltered, scratching the back of his neck and grimacing a bit. There was the smallest hint of red on his cheeks that Louis was positive came from the cold. </p><p>Louis willed his heart to stop racing, his hands to stop shaking, his mouth to stop drying, his ears and face to stop being so red. </p><p>I’d absolutely love that and I think you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and I would love to hang out with you and date you if you asked.</p><p>“S-Sure,” He tried, attempting at cool indifference. “I, um, that would be cool.”</p><p>He was so bloody lame. </p><p>Harry’s smile always surprised Louis with how much bigger it could grow and they’d only known each other for about an hour in total. Well, Louis technically knew a lot about Harry, but. </p><p>“Sweet! I don’t have my phone on me, but maybe you could write your number down and leave it in my locker? It’s number thirteen and it should be the only other occupied space, but, you never know, you know? Oh, wait. If you don’t have a pen or paper, I’m sure someone at the front won’t mind lending you some—”</p><p>Louis let out a breathy laugh, finding himself shocked at how amusing Harry was without him even trying. Harry laughed too, relaxing and staring at Louis with an expression that made him stop and blush. Harry was such an intense person, sometimes. It must be the eyes. </p><p>“Sorry, I tend to do that sometimes. Like, make a fool of myself by rambling and stuff. I don’t know, figured you should know now before we hang out and you realize I’ve been talking about different fruits for ten minutes.” He shrugged a shoulder and his dimple was calling Louis’ index finger, to just reach out and poke it. </p><p>Louis giggled and twisted his lips into the weird shape he always makes. “Um, it’s alright. I don’t mind. Peaches are my favorite fruit, so maybe keep that in mind for your fruit ramble?” Was that a lame attempt at a joke? Or was he flirting, Louis wasn’t sure. It’s been a long time. </p><p>Harry seemed to think it was funny at least, green eyes twinkling and bunny teeth coming to bite his lip. His stubble had grown out even more than it had been on Friday and that was calling Louis’ finger, too. </p><p>“I will most definitely keep that in mind, thank you,” He winked, big hands coming up to rest on the window. They were folded on the railing and his body was tilted just slightly so he could lean against it, still towering over Louis. </p><p>Louis watched his hands for as long as he could get away with, folding his own hands behind his back to prevent himself from trying to touch Harry through the window. Embarrassing, truly. </p><p>Maksim came from behind, hand-clapping Louis on the back and startling him. He always did that and it has never once failed to give the boy a jump. He was stolen from the little bubble Harry created with his smile and easy-going conversation and forced into Maksim’s knowing eyes. </p><p>“Practice, zaika,” He said before making his way to the rink entrance. Louis felt like a child again and Hua sent him a big, overdramatic wink from her place on the ice. He needed new people in his life. </p><p>He turned to Harry, mustering the biggest apologetic look he could. </p><p>“I’m really sorry, Harry, um. It was nice talking to you again, I’ll see you soon?” Maybe? God, Louis hoped so. </p><p>Harry nodded his head. “Yeah, yeah, of course. I’ll be on the sidelines cheering you on for a bit and I promise I won’t laugh if you fall.” He came to the entrance and opened the door for Louis, like a gentleman, Louis swooned. </p><p>And once Louis stepped onto the ice, his practice began and Harry went away. </p><p>He didn’t really go too far, just on the benches that were perched high enough for Harry’s big body to be seen from anywhere on the ice. Louis tried not to focus on him, tried to follow the sound of Hua’s instructions and Maksim’s critiques. </p><p>He managed to do pretty well for the hour that Harry sat there, only stumbling the first time Harry let out a big “Whoop!” and gave thunderous claps that echoed in the acoustics of the arena. It flustered Louis to no end, but he giggled his way through the redness and the shaky limbs and the rapid heartbeats. He returned every proud and amazing smile Harry gave with a bashful one of his own, even managing a thumbs up when Harry offered one. </p><p>He didn’t purposely dress for the occasion of Harry watching him, but he kind of did. He wasn’t in one of his competition dresses, only in black skin-tight leggings that kept him warm and also accentuated the curves of his body. Ice-skating made his body short, compact, but for what he lacked in height, he made up for in delicacy and a nice bum. He just hoped Harry could appreciate it as well as his skills on the ice. </p><p>Harry cheered like Louis was actually competing and not just going over routine exercises. He complimented every move, looking only a bit apologetic when Maksim finally cut him a glare. He shouted out phrases that rang in Louis’ ears like the best song in the world. </p><p>Wonderful, darling!</p><p>That was bloody fantastic, Louis!</p><p>Britain’s Sweetheart does it again, ladies and gentlemen! He shouted out to the imaginary crowd, waving his arms like he was initiating an audience standing ovation. </p><p>It was flattering and sweet and charming and silly and it was something that Harry probably did to all of his friends because Harry seemed like the type to be extremely supportive of everyone around him. Louis was lucky enough to be on that list, it seemed, even if only because Harry needed friends in the area. </p><p>Hua and Maksim left him for his alone time, and Harry had disappeared as well. It was a bit sad, but Louis couldn’t have expected Harry to sit there the entire time, watching as Louis did boring twirls and turns. </p><p>So he skated in the quiet peace that his loneliness offered, closing his eyes and letting his feet slide him wherever the wind took him. It was a nice cooldown, slow and steady, and instead of feeling the usual grief that followed his thoughts, visions of his mother and their memories together, nothing but happiness and silly giddiness washed over him. </p><p>He thought of Harry and his over-enthusiastic cheering, of his gorgeous smile and his large frame. He thought about how this felt like the first time in ages since he smiled while skating and how it was because of Harry. He thought of when they would hang out, what Harry would text him, of what they’d do when they hung out.</p><p>Louis was always rather quiet around strangers, shy and insecure, and never in a million years did he expect himself to be giving a man he’d only talked to twice his phone number so they could make plans to hang out together. It was odd for Louis, but it was a welcomed change. He still felt timid, unsure about what to say because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of a handsome stranger, but not insecure. </p><p>Harry was funny, he was nice and he was charming. He made Louis feel comfortable, at the very least. Louis wasn’t scared of hanging out with him like he normally would be, he was just worried about what he’d wear, what he’d say, what they’d do. </p><p>He didn’t have to change when he made it to the locker room, comfortable in his warm sweatshirt and turtleneck and leggings, but he packed up his skates and thick socks and put on his vans. He reluctantly put the athletic tape on, along his ankle bone and calves and thighs. He was tired, he couldn’t wait to eat and watch movies with attractive lead male actors and attempt to unpack with Clifford as his assistant. </p><p>The only piece of paper he could find in his duffle was a crumpled wrapper of his protein bar, but the Sharpie had written just fine on it. He hesitated on what to write, overthinking in his usual Louis Tomlinson fashion, and felt like an idiot hovering the Sharpie over the wrapper for five minutes. </p><p>He settled on his phone number and “—Louis x” and a smiley face, all written in his neatest print. He blushed as he added on the ‘x’ as a last-minute thing, but rushed to shove it in the locker Harry said. </p><p>The minute the wrapper fit into the crack, Louis felt anxiety creep onto his body. Was that too much? Would Harry read it and think that Louis was trying to be flirty? Harry wanted a friend in the area, not a boy who stalked him on the internet trying to tie him down. </p><p>He must have been in front of the locker regretting everything for a while because the door opened and Harry Styles himself walked through. He was chatting to three men, head tilted over his shoulder as they were all in conversation. </p><p>Louis stood there frozen like an idiot. </p><p>Harry was in a hockey uniform, bulky and big, a stick in his right hand and a helmet in the other. The men were all just as loud he was and it took them about three seconds to notice Louis. </p><p>The curly-haired man paused to see what they were looking at, much like Louis had earlier, and he smiled at Louis. </p><p>“Hey, Louis! I thought you’d have already left by now. I’m just about to head onto the ice myself, I actually just cleaned it. I love that resurfacer,” He laughed, easygoing and friendly as per Harry. A man coughed behind him and Harry startled as if he forgot about them. “Oh shit, sorry, um. This is Jeff, he owns the place and lets me use it like it’s my own. That’s Niall, he’s my best friend and that’s Liam, he’s my personal trainer.”</p><p>They all waved and said their hello’s politely and Louis felt overwhelmed with the attention. </p><p>He stuttered out his own greeting and focused on the floor. He just left his number in Harry’s locker and what if he opens it and they all see it and—</p><p>“It’s really great to meet you, really. You’re like. I mean. I’ve seen you compete before, like, at the Games, and you’re really talented, you know? Actually, my sister is a big fan of yours and I reckon she probably had a crush on you—“</p><p>Harry’s eyes widened and he stepped between the man who was introduced as Liam and Louis. “Alright, mate, I think we should get going.”</p><p>Louis honestly felt flattered. He, oddly enough, had a few fans here and there and he was told all sorts of stories about them and their admiration for him. It was always funny, but he was used to it by now. Maybe it was funnier because Harry seemed embarrassed by his own friend, sending him a quick glare and a shove in the other direction. </p><p>“Say goodbye to Louis, now lads,” Harry said, pushing them all out of the locker room. They did and Louis couldn’t find it in himself to say goodbye back, just bid a small flick of his hand. Harry stood behind for a brief moment to look at Louis. </p><p>“Sorry. Liam’s like a puppy, I think. Doesn’t understand social cues, or when he’s over-sharing and whatnot. Um,” Harry kicked his skate against the hockey stick. “So, maybe I’ll text you later?”</p><p>Please.</p><p>“Yeah, I, uh, left my number in your locker. It’s on a protein bar wrapper, sorry. It’s the only thing I had,” Louis mumbled, twisting his fingers together. </p><p>Harry chuckled and ducked his head. “Yeah, no. It’s cool. That’s cool, awesome. I’ll talk to you soon, um. Get home safe?” </p><p>Louis blushed and nodded his head. Harry sent him a gentle smile and exited the locker room before Louis could thank him, and for that, the boy was sort of relieved. He didn’t want to hold the man up when he was obviously so busy. </p><p>He grabbed his duffle and made his way out of the arena, passing the ice rink on his way. Harry was in his full practice uniform, crouched in a starting position against Liam while Niall held the puck suspended in the air. He looked so good, even if Louis didn’t know what Harry was doing. </p><p>Harry was swift with his movements as he hit the puck with the stick and skated away from Liam. Niall was shouting things and laughing and it brought a smile to Louis’ face when it seemed like they were all having a good time. It reminded him of Maksim and Hua, except they were old enough to be his parents and practically raised him. </p><p>He slipped away before he could be caught watching them without permission and waited outside in the cool air for his Uber to take him to his flat. And the minute he got home, he cuddled into bed after a shower with Clifford and did not wait for his phone to ring with a text or a call. </p><p>-x-</p><p>When Harry finally texted, Louis dropped his phone. He squealed, loud enough for his dog to bark at him in concern, and then dropped his phone. It was embarrassing, even with the lack of company in his flat, and he took a few deep breaths before grabbing his phone from the floor. </p><p>He let himself sink back into the fluffy white covers of his bed, Clifford making a sound before settling back under Louis’ arm, and counted the fairy lights strung around his room. </p><p>‘Hey, it’s Harry :P’</p><p>It made Louis smile harder than anything had in awhile. </p><p>’Hi ! :)’</p><p>He waited a few minutes—ten exactly—so he wouldn’t be too eager or too late. He wasn’t really sure about proper texting etiquette with someone you thought was attractive. </p><p>Harry responded immediately and Louis didn’t realize how hard his heart was pounding until the noise of the heater unit shut off and the beat hit his chest rapidly. </p><p>Harry asked how his day went and it was just simple conversation, easy for Louis to handle without the pressure of real life. He didn’t worry about stumbling over his words or staring for too long. This was something Louis could do. </p><p>Harry asked if he lived far and then texted that he only lived about fifteen minutes from the rink, but it was heading the opposite way as Louis’. He asked if he’d tried the chips from the arena and told him a funny story about how he tried to make them when he was all alone at the rink and they came out soggy. </p><p>He was so cute and Louis hadn’t stopped smiling since he first answered Harry. </p><p>Harry said he was exhausted and he was in bed, an early night in for him because he was so tired. Louis had been turned to bed at about four in the afternoon and it was nine now, and this wasn’t any different than a normal night for him. It was sort of sad. </p><p>He told him that it was a quiet one in for him too, even if every night was a quiet one. There was a lull in the conversation and Louis panicked for a bit. Worst case scenario, Harry was bored and didn’t want to talk to him anymore. It could be that he fell asleep, given that it was past eleven and they’d been texting about movies and SNL skits and Harry’s funny stories about random things. </p><p>It was past eleven. </p><p>Louis tried not to pout as he rubbed Clifford’s neck, the dog sighing before burrowing further into his owner’s neck, and he shut his phone down. He laid in the glow of the soft lights in his room and tried to close his eyes. It worked for a moment, calmness settling in before the usual exhaustion of staying up until his eyes couldn’t stay open anymore. </p><p>Right as he was falling into imaginary scenarios of a certain hot hockey player, his phone dinged again. His hand dove for it under the sheets, the bright light of it blinding him momentarily. It was a text from Harry, but it wasn’t a normal text. </p><p>It was a text with a picture.</p><p>Louis squealed as he opened it, sitting up straight in his bed. Clifford huffed at him and Louis showed him the phone so maybe the dog would understand why he was hyperventilating like a schoolgirl. </p><p>The dog stared at the photo of Harry brushing his teeth––shirtless in all his muscled tattooed glory, smiling with the brush and toothpaste foaming his mouth, holding his phone in the other hand, curly hair parted down the middle and a mess––blankly. Actually, he blinked at it and then up at Louis with sweet puppy eyes. </p><p>Louis threw himself against the pillows and covered his blush with his hand, giggling to himself at how giddy he was being over a picture. It was an adorable picture, but it was making Louis warm with how hot Harry was. </p><p>He was so fucking perfect. His tattoos looked amazing against his skin, his shoulder and muscles were prominent with the position of his arms and his stomach muscles were a more subtle presence, but they were still obvious. The phone looked so minuscule in his hand, which was definitely interesting to Louis because his thumb couldn’t reach across the screen when he held it in one hand, no matter how hard he stretched it. </p><p>Harry was perfect. </p><p>’Getting ready for bed!’ :) The message that he sent with the photo had read </p><p>What the hell was Louis supposed to do? Did he send a photo back too?</p><p>Shit, Louis wasn’t in any shape to be sending selfies. He was in a hoodie, burrowed in blankets, with messy hair and sleepy eyes. Clifford had settled under his chin like a big teddy bear, huffing softly again. </p><p>After thirty thousand attempts it seemed, Louis finally settled on a decent selfie. He was cuddled into his fluffy dog, hidden mainly by Clifford’s sleep face, with a soft smile on his face. It wasn’t anything special and he sent back a beat you to it :). </p><p>Harry’s response was immediate and it made Louis shout out loud. His neighbors were going to complain to their landlord. </p><p>’Haha, how cute :) goodnight Louis and sweet dreams xx’ </p><p>Louis’ smile was painful as he sent out, ’goodnight Harry :) xx’</p><p>He fell asleep at the earliest time he had in months without the help of sleeping pills and with a big smile on his face.</p><p>-x-</p><p>They settled over Friday night for their hangout as they texted back and forth over breakfast. Harry would pick him up and they’d go check out the little downtown district in Notting Hill. They’d check out a few shops and walk around, get dinner. Harry said he’d plan the night based on what Niall had told him about the area. </p><p>Apparently, Harry had lived in the more posh areas of the city before settling in the West End like Louis. All his friends were scattered about London, but none of them settled in Harry’s neighborhood so he was looking for friends nearby, or so he said. Louis didn’t question why Harry wanted to be friends because he loved having the attention of the other man. </p><p>Louis was chewing on cereal with a grin on his face as Harry texted him a cheesy joke about his breakfast. It took Louis an extra twenty minutes to eat his flakes because he kept dropping his spoon to rush a response out to the man. He hated soggy flakes. </p><p>The only way Louis managed to get anything done was when Harry was busy and didn’t text him, which was a sad feat in and of itself. Louis’ restricted himself to his phone desperately all because of a cute guy showing him a little bit of attention. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be ashamed, really.</p><p>Hua and Maksim were less than impressed, especially during practices or their daily phone calls, but Louis knew they were secretly pleased with him for making a friend. Louis slightly resented them for it because he was an adult and he made friends here and there, but he didn’t have the time to lecture them when Harry kept sending him texts and even a selfie. </p><p>Louis sent some of his own, mainly hiding behind Clifford in them because he was still a bit shy about sending his face off to Harry Styles, the most perfect man to have ever existed. Harry didn’t seem to mind and always responded so enthusiastically to everything Louis had to say. </p><p>When Friday came around, Louis couldn’t shake away the panic in his bones or the worry in his chest. </p><p>Hua and June and a reluctant Maksim had already helped with picking an outfit, so he at least didn’t have to stress over that. It was a jumper with a blue turtleneck underneath, pants and his dirty white vans with the smiley faces, and white clips in his fringe. He felt unsure about the clips, but they convinced him that he couldn’t leave without them. </p><p>So he had them in his hair, securing them in place as he stared at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. He could see how nervous he was, or maybe he was just overanalyzing everything again. He had blush on, even on his nose, but he regretted putting it on since his cheeks were always flaming anyways. </p><p>The blue turtleneck was to compliment his eyes, they’d told him. They were bright, Louis supposed. Would Harry even care? This wasn’t a date, it was two people making friends with one another. It was a hangout, a lads’ night. </p><p>His phone pinged with a text, interrupting his quiet moment of doubt, and it had Louis jumping in fright.  </p><p>I’m outside :)</p><p>And what the fuck? </p><p>Louis checked the time and it was exactly seven on the dot. </p><p>“Shit, shit, shit,” Louis gasped, racing through the foyers and all of his rooms to find his shoes, keys, everything he needed at the moment he felt had suddenly disappeared. </p><p>Clifford trailed him happily, excited with the sudden rush of movements, yipping and wagging his tail everywhere. </p><p>“Fuck, Cliffy, I’m not ready,” Louis cried out, shoving his foot in his Vans and yanking his phone from its charger in the bathroom. “Okay, okay. I’m fine, it’s fine. Everything is fine. I have everything I need. Okay.”</p><p>He took a deep breath and kneeled to his dog’s height. “I’ll be gone with Harry tonight, maybe a few hours. Harry’s nice, right? I love you and I will miss you. Be good!” </p><p>His fluff ball of a dog panted happily, every word out of Louis’ mouth going straight over his head, and Louis loved him so very much. He gave him a kiss, threw a bone from the kitchen into the living room, and locked the front door behind him. He made his way down the lift, leg bouncing in anticipation. </p><p>He was going to ask Harry which car he was in, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Harry standing in the lobby, conversing with the front deskman, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He hadn’t noticed Louis standing there and the boy slowly stalked his way over, heart hammering in his chest. </p><p>“I’ve never been there, no. I’m new to the area, actually, but maybe you can recommend a few places? I’m down by the West End, but I like a drive and––Oh! Hi, Louis! This is who I’m waiting for,” He told the man. The man seemed to find Harry amusing and Louis understood him entirely. </p><p>“I was just having a chat with Pablo here. He’s really nice,” Harry offered with a shrug. Louis was having a hard time breathing. </p><p>Harry looked amazing, a big jumper on, with a dimpled smirk. He looked casual and dressed up, he looked like a huge cuddly bear. His jumper was blue with white lambs on it and it was the cutest thing in the world, tucked into high-waisted slacks that made him look even longer. </p><p>He went in to greet Louis, a one-armed hug that surrounded Louis in the scent of vanilla and something that smelled like it was just Harry, and a quick peck to the top of Louis’ head. He was going to die tonight, a wonderful death because of Harry Styles and his attractive charm. </p><p>He beamed at Louis as he handed over the bouquet, bowing just slightly, completely unaware of the spacey, dizzy blur to Louis’ eyes.  </p><p>“These are for you, as, like, part of the compensation for wasting a Friday night with me. You look gorgeous, by the way, and I really love the clips,” He said, green eyes looking him over.</p><p>“Harry,” Louis just barely sounded a breath away from a whine. Harry looked alarmed, a deep frown etching itself onto his face. </p><p>“Sorry, I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you liked. And I was too embarrassed to ask you for your flat floor number, so I just waited in the lobby for you to come down. Was that too presumptuous of me? Sorry, I––”</p><p>Louis giggled, nerves slowly fading away. “No! No, I love them. They’re, um, really nice. And sweet, that was sweet of you,” he mumbled, face flushed. Harry’s smile returned and they stood for a moment, Harry staring at Louis while the boy tried to hide from the man’s intense stare behind the flowers. </p><p>Pablo, the deskman’s name, apparently, cleared his throat, drawing them away from the moment. He gave them a look, bushy eyebrows raised. “I thought you were going out tonight, boys, not staring at each other in my lobby.”</p><p>He didn’t sound rude, more in the same tone as Hua, June, and Maksim always had. </p><p>Harry cleared his own throat, nodding. “Right. Er, um, Louis,” he waved a hand, directing Louis to be escorted out. He was so sweet, Louis thought for the millionth time. </p><p>Harry held the door open for Louis and they walked in the cold of the fall air together, chatting quietly about their days. Harry held the door open for Louis to his fancy Range Rover, too. Louis tried not to let himself get lost in pretending this was a date.</p><p>As soon as Harry started the car, he handed Louis his big iPhone, insisting that he put on whatever music he liked. </p><p>“Um, I don’t know,” Louis mumbled. “What if you don’t like my music?” How horrible and awkward that would be, Louis thought. </p><p>Harry scoffed. “As long as you don’t listen to, like, modern country or that metal music with the screaming, I think we’re alright.”</p><p>It took more coaxing out of Harry, the man egging him on as he steered the wheel expertly with one hand and trying to poke at Louis with the other. It made Louis laugh and squirm away, burning with the touch of Harry’s finger on his shoulder. </p><p>Eventually, he settled on Amy Winehouse, and Harry actually complimented him on it. </p><p>“I love Amy, but I reckon I only know her most popular songs. She’s massively talented, though,” Harry commented and that was an affront to Louis. </p><p>He explained to Harry that he simply had to show him every single underrated classic of Amy’s tunes and Harry agreed, even offering that as a hangout on Wednesday night, where they could go over to someone’s flat and introduce one another to an artist. </p><p>Not a date. Just friends, Louis reminded himself. </p><p>They somehow ended up talking about Harry’s love for vintage cars and the two he has over in California. It was a subtle gesture, the way he mentioned it so casually, that he had money and spent it well. It made Louis a bit faint in the best way possible and he prayed he didn’t sound like a sleaze. </p><p>This turned into a conversation of maybe Louis visiting during the summer and watching a game sometime, which Louis would love to, but he didn’t know anything about hockey. And of course, Harry had to offer him a lesson the next time they were both scheduled at the rink, and Louis obviously had to accept, and they hadn’t even realized they were parked for ten minutes until someone pulled beside them and asked if they were going to stay or leave so they could take their spot. </p><p>It had both of the boys flustered with laughs and Louis felt comfortable. He felt safe as Harry led them down the pretty, yellow-lit streets with people bumbling about. It was crowded and that alone would have Louis uneasy, but Harry guided them both to a nice little area away from the noise. </p><p>“I know it’s a Friday and usually people go out for pints, but I was wondering if you’d maybe like this place more? It’s this little cafe-type thing, I’m not sure actually. It looked nice and relaxed, and I just figured you would, you know,” Harry lifted a shoulder, hands in his pockets as he looked to Louis expectantly. </p><p>The restaurant was tiny, a little hole in the wall place with a few people eating inside or outside by the heaters. It looked so warm and inviting, the soft glow of the patio lights hung above them. Harry was actually tall enough to get hit in the head by one of them if he wasn’t careful and he giggled when he did in fact hit one earlier. </p><p>This place was exactly the type of place Louis liked, quiet and soft. It made his heart soar that Harry thought of him when picking this place and that he even had a tinkling to what Louis would like, that it mattered to him.</p><p>“Harry, I love it. It’s so cute,” He sighed, hoping his eyes weren’t the shape of hearts. </p><p>Harry heaved a sigh of relief, leading them through the doors. They sat in a small corner of the room, a candle on the table flickering with the air of their movements. </p><p>“Thank God. I thought it was cute, too, and I know pints are like, what everyone wants after the week’s done, but I don't know. It didn’t seem like the right thing? Getting to know each other at a cheap pub with a million people shouting and dancing around us.”</p><p>He had a tinge of pink on his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head and rushed to shrug his shoulders.</p><p>Louis nodded, fingers coming to fidget on the table. It suddenly felt so much more intimate now that they were alone, practically, secluded on their own little island at the edge of the restaurant in dim lights and in the quiet company of one another. </p><p>A hostess came to drop off their menus and Louis’ eyes were drawn to the selection of teas. He smiled at their selection and Harry quipped a brow up. </p><p>“See something already?”</p><p>Louis scrunched his nose. “Oh, um. It’s just their tea. They have my favorite.” He turned his menu to point at Harry and the man leaned forward to take a closer look under Louis’ finger. </p><p>He read it out loud, including their description with waggling brows. “‘A delicious black tea blend with vibrant flavors of warmth and a sunny slice of refreshment that’s lovely with a spot of milk. Perfect for a relaxing moment!’” He over exaggerated his excitement, voice raising and lowering in pitch dramatically.</p><p>“It’s the best drink there is!” Louis insisted, a big smile on his face as he tried to control his giggles. </p><p>Harry scoffed. “I’ve never had it, how can I be so convinced?” He was hiding his own smile behind a closed fist. </p><p>Louis stomped his foot a bit. “Because I don’t take my taste in teas lightly.”</p><p>Harry made an affirming noise, nodding his head in deep thought. His arms went across his chest as he leaned back to study Louis. He eyed him down for a moment and Louis eyed him back just as determinedly, positive on not breaking first. Louis, for the most part, didn’t back away from any challenge, even ones from cute boys. </p><p>“Louis Tomlinson, are you sure that your preference for Yorkshire Tea has absolutely no correlation to your sponsorship by the very brand itself?”</p><p>Louis burst into laughter, covering his burning face behind his hands, and kicked at him lightly under the table, shushing him in fear of disturbing the quaint environment they were in. No one paid them any mind besides a few long looks.</p><p>“My fancy for Yorkshire Tea is what brought upon the sponsorship, I’ll have you know,” He said through laughs. “And what will you be having? Since you’d like to make such a spectacle of my drink of choice for the night, it’s only fair I have a go at yours.”</p><p>Harry hummed, glancing at the menu with bored eyes. Their waitress introduced herself before he could respond and asked for their orders. </p><p>“Um, I’ll have Yorkshire Tea, no sugar please,” He mumbled under the stare of the lady, suddenly back to his menu.</p><p>“Sounds good, darling.” She then looked at Harry. “And you, love?”</p><p>Harry didn’t take his eyes off of Louis as he smiled softly, like they were sharing some sort of inside joke. “I’ll try what he’s having. This one says it’s the best, reckon I might as well try it.”</p><p>Dianne went off and they were left alone to look at their meal choices. Harry was dead-set on some American burger, wondering if they’d do the food justice, and then insisted Louis try it because the boy was so uncultured with America.</p><p>And when it came, Harry dove into it immediately, tongue darting out to feed each bite into his mouth. He said the size was small in comparison to the ones in the states, but that it was pretty decent. Louis felt intimidated by it and he had to use two hands to hold it without the burger falling apart, but Harry had it in one large hand and chips in the other. </p><p>The whole thing was making Louis ridiculously flustered and flushed with a shy desire that he’d never really felt before.</p><p>“How is it?” </p><p>Louis hadn’t realized he was chewing and staring at Harry. He munched through his bites and looked to Harry, who seemed to be almost already finished. Louis only had two bites. </p><p>He nodded his head and tried to talk through his mouthful. “It’s good, really good.”</p><p>Harry looked pleased and took another big bite. “Wait until you’re in America, love. They do greasy junk food like nobody else in the world, I swear it, especially during hockey games.” </p><p>Louis dropped his fingers full of chips at his words. Love. Wait until you’re in America, love. During hockey games.</p><p>“Oh, er, yeah. I can’t wait,” Louis said in a single breath, watching Harry finish all his food. Louis wasn’t hungry after he’d eaten half of it; instead, he'd dropped the remainder of his burger in the basket and held his cuppa in his hands. </p><p>Harry looked up from his own empty platter with a sheepish grin. </p><p>“Sorry, I eat sort of fast. I mean, my mum always said it was because I was like a growing boy or whatever. But I’m not growing or a boy anymore. I think it’s just because my metabolism is fast and I have to fuel my body with stuff since I work out a lot,” He brought the tea up to his face. </p><p>“Alright, I must say this is really good,” He said after a big gulp of tea. The small teacup looked miniscule in his hands. “But tea and a burger is a very strange combination.”</p><p>Louis smiled and sipped at his tea again. “I do like it very much, though.”</p><p>Harry grinned and went to take a chip off Louis’ still full basket, eyes twinkling with mirth. “I think that tea and bacon burgers are perfect for one another.” </p><p>Harry was a bit shy, albeit extremely grateful when Louis offered his plate up and the man scarfed it down quickly. Harry paid, no matter how many times Louis stomped his foot and refused, handing over his card to Dianne with a wink.</p><p>They then made their way out to the busy streets again and they walked side by side, arms brushing up every so often. Louis’ body burned with the warmth from Harry’s body heat and Harry made small talk with him about the bricked buildings. </p><p>He wonders if they made an odd pair together, with their almost comical size difference in both length and width. Harry was huge, towering over everyone with a commanding presence that had people stepping aside to give him space. He was attractive and tall and big. And Louis was none of those things. He couldn’t see past anyone’s shoulder and he probably looked like a child next to Harry. He was tiny. Harry was easy-going, talkative and charming and a magnet to just about everyone they encountered, and Louis liked to be invisible. </p><p>Louis found that he didn’t mind it at all. Maybe they made an odd pair, like Yorkshire Tea and a bacon burger, he joked to himself. They probably didn’t make sense together, with Harry’s sureness and Louis’ insecurities, but he liked Harry. He felt safe. </p><p>They sat at a fountain for a moment, Harry trying to figure out how to get to this one little bakery on a map he picked up, and Louis’ eyes caught a small side street. It was a bookstore with the same homey aroma as the restaurant they just finished eating at. He stared at it longingly, it’d been so long since he bought books. </p><p>Suddenly, his arm was being tugged by Harry in the direction of the shop. </p><p>“Harry?” But Harry didn’t respond until he opened the door to the forest green store. </p><p>“If you wanted to go in, you should’ve said something! God, I feel like the worst date ever. Please tell me you’re not miserable,” Harry winced, breathing heavily as he said the words in one go. </p><p>Louis felt his heart stop beating and his face become red again. </p><p>Harry’s eyes widened and his head moved back as they stared at each other. </p><p>Date. Date. Date!</p><p>Is that what this was? </p><p>“Date?” Louis blurted, hands coming up to smack against his mouth. </p><p>Harry gave an attempt at a grin but it looked more like a grimace, ringed hand scratching the back of his head before crossing over his broad chest. </p><p>“Um, like. I, er. Um, uh, it’s. You see, um, well. I, shit,” He laughed out, pink tinging his cheeks. He scrunched his nose as he stared at Louis and went to scratch it with an index finger. “I mean, it could be?” </p><p>His smile alone charmed Louis into agreeing with anything he said and Louis nodded dumbly. </p><p>“Really?” Harry perked up. </p><p>Louis nodded again dumbly, hands dropping to play with the hem of his sweater. </p><p>“Louis, I really like you,” Harry said seriously. “I think you’re funny and sweet and you’re really beautiful. I’ve been a fan of yours for a while and meeting you was, like, the best thing to happen to me all year. I didn’t want to ask you on a date because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I was planning on, like, stealth dating you tonight, which sounds horrible, I know––”</p><p>Louis stopped his flustered ramble with a small smile that was threatening to take over his entire face. </p><p>Harry matched his mood and for a moment, they were just staring at each other. Louis couldn’t hear the outside bumble of the world going on around them, he could only focus on the earnestness in Harry’s eyes and the happiness he’s become a stranger to. </p><p>“Um, I really like you, too. I think you’re a great person and um, this has been the best date I’ve had so far,” Louis mumbled, eyes on the ground, after a long quiet pause in their bubble. Truthfully, it was the only date he’s ever had, but still. It was the best one. </p><p>Harry cheered at that with a little, “Fuck yes!” and a hand pulling into his side. It made Louis giggle. </p><p>“Can I hold your hand while we look around?” Harry blinked at him with big green eyes, almost like the puppy eyes that Clifford always gives him.</p><p>Louis was burning a small fire with his body when he nodded, letting Harry take his small hand with his big one, tangling their fingers with a small squeeze. Harry’s hand surrounded his, wrapped warmly and safely and hiding Louis’ sweetly. </p><p>It was like holding onto the sun on a cold day, Louis felt like. It made Louis feel happy and really, genuinely fine. And it was just hand-holding. He was in deep shit. </p><p>Harry insisted he lead the way since he wasn’t much of a reader, only read whatever his sister or mum gave him for the holidays. Louis did so excitedly, pulling the man in the direction of a bookcase that looked promising. </p><p>He picked a few up to read the titles, Harry looming over him close enough to make him stutter over his words and inhale the scent of vanilla and Harry. Harry listened earnestly, hummed in interest, offered comments, and honest criticisms of the summaries Louis read. He stuck his tongue out or pretended to snore when he didn’t like a book and oohed and awed at the ones he liked.</p><p>He held the books Louis liked at his side in one hand and pointed at the ones with interesting covers he thought Louis might like with the other. Harry was Prince Charming in the flesh. He was making it easier for Louis to fall in love and it was only their first date. </p><p>Their first date. Louis giggled out loud and let Harry believe that he was only amused over Harry struggling to read the name of a difficult theory of psychology in the book. They ended up in the children’s section and Harry suggested buying one for Clifford, but Louis shot him down with a chuckle and a shake of his head.</p><p>It must’ve been a while since they were in there because the lady with the name badge and green shirt told them the shop was closing in fifteen minutes. Again, once they reached the front counter, Harry placed the pile of books on the wood along with his credit card and a bright smile. </p><p>Louis crossed his arms and pouted as the lady rang it up, and Harry bopped his nose, leaning down to his level. They were extremely close, faces nearly touching one another, and Louis gulped. Was Harry going to kiss him?</p><p>Shit. </p><p>Harry just smirked, sending a quick glance at Louis’ lips before reaching his eyes again. “I am taking you on a date, let me pay for it.”</p><p>Louis couldn’t do anything but nod, frozen in place even when the lady bagged the books and bid her goodbyes. </p><p>They walked around some more, hand in hand still, until everything started to close down save for the pubs, but neither of them wanted a night out in a bar. The drive back to Louis’ flat was just as exciting as the entire night had been, Harry seemed to just have that effect on Louis, but Louis could also feel himself thrum with anxiety. </p><p>Was he supposed to invite Harry up? </p><p>When they arrived at his building, Harry asked if he could walk him to his lobby and who was Louis to decline?</p><p>Harry greeted Pablo like an old friend when they stepped inside and Louis gave him a small wave. They walked over to a secluded part of the lobby, behind a pillar and away from Pablo’s curious eyes. </p><p>Louis laughed nervously when Harry yawned, stretching a hand over his head before placing it above Louis’ against the wall. It trapped him between the wall and Harry’s body and it should’ve made Louis’ nervous, but he felt safe. </p><p>Harry laughed too. “Too obvious?” He asked, but not moving his body, eyes right on Louis’ mouth, looking every bit of a heartthrob. </p><p>He nodded his head but made no move to free himself either, just focused on the bouquet of flowers that Harry had got him in his hands. They were a little wilted from sitting in the car, but they were still his favorite in the world. </p><p>“Just a little too obvious. I’ve seen teen movies, you know,” Louis teased, poking at Harry’s dimple. He didn’t know where his bout of boldness came from, but it felt right. It felt good.  </p><p>And Harry seemed to like it just as much. </p><p>“I was wondering when you’d stop being so shy,” He teased right back and Louis bit his lip. </p><p>“Sorry, um. I’ve never really done anything like before,” Louis admitted, looking down to the ground. </p><p>Harry frowned and tilted Louis’ head back up with a gentle hand, thumb coming under his chin to rub over it a few times. </p><p>“Hey, no, no. I, like, I want you to feel comfortable around me, you know? It’s cute, everything you do is cute really. But we’re going at your pace and if you want me to slow down, I can,” He explained, concern all over his face. </p><p>“You’re really sweet, you know that?” Louis asked, leaning forward into the touch and bringing their faces that much closer. “I like this, the—what we’re doing right now is okay. It’s more than okay. I like it. I like you,” He muttered through a grin. </p><p>“I should let you go upstairs to your flat before Pablo kicks me out. Can I take you out again?” </p><p>“Of course, silly,” Louis laughed, touching the fuzzy lambs in Harry’s sweater. As if Louis would be able to live the rest of his life without taking advantage of the attention of Harry. </p><p>“Thank God,” Harry chuckled. “I’ll text you, alright?” </p><p>Louis nodded but didn’t make a move to leave his spot against the wall and Harry didn’t remove his hand from Louis’ face.; instead, they stared at each other. </p><p>Harry leaned in and Louis closed his eyes, heart stuttering and hands going into fists of anticipation and body tensed in readiness. A pair of lips touched his temple and then his cheek before finally landing in his hair, right at the top of his head. </p><p>The other man made a move to lean back, but the same rush of boldness ran through Louis’ veins and he rocked on his tiptoes, crashing into Harry’s lips with his own. </p><p>As far as first kisses go, even the ones Louis’ had, it was an awkward mesh of lips. Harry’s nose bumped against Louis’ too roughly, Louis couldn’t reach Harry as well even on his tiptoes, and his balance was straining to keep them locked, they weren’t touching anywhere other than their lips, and they didn’t move their lips because they were both drinking in the surprise of it all. </p><p>It took Harry a minute to do something and he finally responded when Louis landed back on his feet. Harry brought his hands up to cradle Louis’ head, tilting it up and meeting him halfway, pressing his lips into Louis’ smaller ones. He tasted like Yorkshire Tea and he moved their lips together softly, slowly. </p><p>As far as second kisses go, it was the best touch Louis’ ever known. It was sweet, nothing rushed or hurried, just soft touches of lips. Harry made up for whatever inexperience Louis lacked, taking control easily with obvious finesse. Louis could feel himself melt against the other boy’s body, sinking into the place of Harry’s arms and letting himself be caught in the happiness being exchanged between their lips.</p><p>Louis chased after the hint of tongue Harry slid against his bottom lip, opening up for it easily. It didn’t get much further than that and Louis didn’t know whether he was grateful so as not to embarrass himself with his deficient skill, or if he was upset because he wanted more of Harry. </p><p>He wanted to give everything and have everything right at that moment.</p><p>They pulled apart with gasps for air, shocked smiles on both of their faces as they looked upon each other with wide eyes. </p><p>“Um,” Louis breathed and Harry went back in for a soft peck. </p><p>“That was good, right?” Harry asked, brushing Louis’ fringe aside before fiddling with one of the hair clips. </p><p>Louis shook his head immediately. The best.</p><p>“Good,” Harry smirked. “I think I should let you go, for real this time. Pablo might not let me loiter the lobby anymore if he catches me snogging you senselessly in a public area.” </p><p>Louis giggled and nodded, feeling the cold seep against his body when Harry finally moved away. He gave the shorter boy a few more gentle kisses, on the mouth and the cheek and the temple and even the nose, and then finally began to pedal backward. </p><p>“Um, text me when you get home, please?”</p><p>“As long as I’m rewarded with a Cliff and Lou selfie,” Harry winked. Louis huffed out a laugh and nodded his head, slowly making his way over to the left where the lifts were, but never once taking his eyes away from Harry.</p><p>“Goodnight Lou!” Harry practically shouted, waving his big hand in the air. Louis returned it as the lift doors closed, leaving him alone and allowing him to assess the entire night. </p><p>It felt like a dream, the most wonderful dream Louis’ ever had in his entire life, he thought as he let his head bounce against the lift wall. The bag with the two books and the bouquet were heavy in Louis’ hands, but they were the cutest reminders of how lovely Harry was. Harry was perfect and he wasn’t sure how long the hockey star would want to be in Louis’ company, but Louis was going to take advantage while he had him. </p><p>And true to both their words, while Louis was smiling as he replayed all the moments in bed with Clifford cuddled into his neck, they sent their respective text messages, and then proceeded to text for another hour. </p><p>-x-<br/>
The next time they got to hang out was a few days later at the ice rink. Hua and Maksim had left Louis after their scheduled practice and Louis hung around waiting for Harry on the benches, catching his breath. </p><p>He was excited, albeit nervous because they were going to skate together today. </p><p>If there was one thing he was confident in, it was his abilities on the ice, but he also has proved himself to be a bit of a tit when cute boys like Harry are near. It also didn’t help that he didn’t have time to change out of his skating dress either. </p><p>It was tight and short, sparkling with real gems and framing his body like they all did. Every time he spun, it rode up and exposed his lower half, and he loved the emerald color of it. There were gold embellishments all around and gold specks of glitter subtly shining on his skin-toned tights. It made him feel like an actual fairy princess and he felt pretty. </p><p>His white skates weren’t too scuffed because he spent hours cleaning them in preparation for today and his hair was pushed back in clips because Harry complimented him in them. He felt pretty and he just hoped Harry would see his effort and think so too. </p><p>Louis skirted along the edges of the rink slowly, making lazy movements with his feet and fingers brushing the railing every so often. </p><p>A loud whistle made him stop his tracks, looking up to meet Harry’s big dimpled grin and his fingers in his mouth to create the sound. </p><p>“You look beautiful!” Harry shouted from across the way and Louis couldn’t help but preen. He met him halfway before wondering what would happen next. </p><p>Did they kiss? Or would that be too forward? A hug? But they’ve already kissed, they even talked about it over text. And Harry’s definitely flirty over text and he says things that friends don’t say to each other, but they weren’t dating, were they? Did first dates that went well and resulted in hanging out again and constant texting and occasional flirts from Harry mean they were dating?</p><p>Louis was so caught up in his mild panic that Harry made the move first. </p><p>He was in his usual oversized hockey jersey, some kid’s team that was from somewhere in America, and had a large bag in one hand. He used his free arm to bring Louis in gently, wrapping his arm around him and cupping a safe spot on his hip. </p><p>He smiled, peering down at Louis with Louis’ neck craned back at such an awkward angle because of the height difference, and eyed Louis’ lips. </p><p>“Hello, lovely,” He murmured. Louis gulped. </p><p>“Um, hi,” He whispered back. The warmth of their proximity made Louis shiver at the temperature change and Harry must’ve thought he was cold because he rubbed his arm for heat. Sweet man, Harry was. </p><p>Harry took in a deep breath, seemingly calm as Louis panicked. “Is it alright if I kiss you? I’ve missed you quite a bit.” At Louis’ stunned silence, Harry shrugged. “That’s alright if you don’t want to. I think you look beautiful in your dress.”</p><p>He continued to compliment Louis on his appearance, even telling him that he missed him over the few days, and Louis accepted it all with flushed cheeks and a small smile. </p><p>“Like I know we texted, but you’re… you, you know? I like being with you and––I’m not being too clingy, am I?” He laughed at himself, starting to slowly leave the embrace and Louis tightened his grip on Harry’s arms, squeezing hard enough that Harry looked concerned. </p><p>“I–I, um, we can kiss?” Louis giggled through nerves, feeling his legs begin to waver with his anxiety. His hands would’ve been shaking if they weren’t clenched tightly on Harry’s jersey. </p><p>Harry’s grin eased every moment of self-doubt Louis ever felt, coming in to pucker his lips against Louis’ with no extra movement. It was a prolonged peck, just the meeting of their mouths with gentle touches and shared breaths. It was a prolonged peck and it was the best Louis’ ever felt. </p><p>It was sweet and romantic and tickled Louis’ tummy with butterflies and Harry was everything he’d ever asked for. </p><p>Hockey, on the other hand, was the worst thing to have ever happened to Louis. </p><p>He hated it. Harry looked gorgeous playing, he was quick on his feet with the puck and was able to swerve his body in and out before slamming his stick against the black disc to send it soaring into the net. He was amazing, it seemed easy when he explained it and went over a few basic tricks </p><p>Louis couldn’t get the stupid puck in the net. </p><p>In fact, he hit just about everything else––the glass protectors, the posts, the sidelines, even his own foot when the puck had bounced against the railing before sliding back as quickly as Louis’ ever seen anything move.</p><p>“Love, I promise you’re overthinking it,” Harry said gently after Louis had missed the net yet again. He was pouting, arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. “You have the movements down perfectly. It’s just, uh. I think your shooting form is wonky.”</p><p>He skated over from his spot behind the net, his posture hunched and careful like someone approaching a scared animal. And it’s not like Louis would lash out at Harry––he was far too sweet for that––it’s just that he wanted to be good.</p><p>What good was Louis to Harry if he didn’t understand anything about hockey? </p><p>“I’m shooting the thing the way you said to hit it!” Louis insisted, holding the stick that was bigger than him and tapping it against the ice. </p><p>Harry nodded in understanding, placing a hand right atop Louis’, wrapping the circumference of the stick and the whole of Louis’ hand completely. His other rested above their conjoined hands and he brought his face in closer. </p><p>“You’re doing great, I swear it. With the way you skate, you’re a natural. Reckon my team might scout you over me for next season. Best not let them see you then,” He winked and it was a nice pat over Louis’ self-esteem, but it didn’t make any difference. </p><p>Louis still sucked at hockey and Harry was going to realize that and then leave to find someone who was interesting and had a life other than figure skating and their dog. </p><p>He was moping. </p><p>“I’m holding it right,” Louis tried again, arms positioned in the way Harry’s was when he explained how. Harry was an excellent teacher, but maybe Louis was too busy ogling his body and voice to pay attention. </p><p>Harry nodded patiently again. “I know, love, I know. How about we try a couple more times and then you can teach me some of your stuff?” </p><p>Louis sighed and struck the puck, almost whining and stomping his foot. He looked to Harry and he was hiding a grin unsuccessfully. </p><p>“Hey! You can’t laugh at me, you promised,” He pouted. It was true, they both promised they wouldn’t poke any fun at one another when they made a mistake. Learning a new sport was tough and they were both qualified experts in their fields, so they knew well enough how difficult each could be. </p><p>Harry held his hands up in surrender, coming in close to wrap them around Louis. They swayed gently and Louis felt comfortable enough to bring his head to rest on Harry’s chest. </p><p>“I’m sorry, but your form is wrong, though. Mind if I correct it for you?”</p><p>Louis laughed and made a swat at Harry’s arm. </p><p>“Is that your attempt at a pass at me?” He found Harry wagging his brows above him and it sent them both into another fit of giggles. </p><p>“It wasn’t, I swear it! I just really think you may benefit from the proper placement of your body by my own,” He laughed when Louis did and they really couldn’t stop giggling at one another. </p><p>“You’re not slick, Harold.”</p><p>Now it was Harry’s turn to pout. He held him from an arms’ distance, skating them in small circles. “Please, love.”</p><p>Louis made a show of being reluctant, throwing him a look. “Fine,” He said before coming into the space between Harry’s opened arms. He was moved to have his back pressed against Harry’s front, arms bracketed by bigger ones, hands being covered by larger fingers covered in rings. </p><p>They were close again and Louis felt himself starting to get used to being in the warmth of Harry’s arms. </p><p>It was all very cheesy, the way Harry swung their arms in a practice swing to get Louis used to the way he’s supposed to shoot. His chin was tucked in Louis’ shoulder, right by his ear, as he whispered directions and praise. It was very cheesy, but Jesus, did it affect Louis anyways. </p><p>“See, it’s not that hard.”</p><p>Louis shivered at the warmth of Harry’s words crawling down his neck and the tight press of their bodies together. He gulped and gave a simple nod. </p><p>“Alright, raise your arm and swing it loosely behind you. When you bring the stick down, strike it. Like golfing, but push all your strength in it and make it a quick flick.” </p><p>He raised their arms with no force, just a simple movement, before rushing their arms back down quickly and hard, the black puck hitting the air with a whoosh. It hit the net right in the center and Louis squealed. </p><p>He was ready to give up and call it a day but Harry begged him to try on his own, just one more swing with the little effort Louis had left. And Louis couldn’t say no, so he was fully ready to embarrass himself and when he swung on his own, he wanted to cry. </p><p>The puck sunk into the corner of the net, jostling the white strings before landing on the ice with a clink. It was behind the red line so it was a goal.</p><p>“I hit the net! Harry, I hit the net!” Louis was screaming and skating at full speed towards the taller boy before he realized, ready to jump into the open arms waiting for him. “I hit the net! I made a goal thingy!” </p><p>Harry caught him with ease, holding up his thighs and skating them around in circles. His dimple was out and he looked proud and that was all Louis wanted. </p><p>“I’m so proud of you, Lou! You fucking nailed it, love, I told you that you’d make the net.” </p><p>Louis squealed and giggled when Harry picked up speed, grasping onto the broad expanse of his shoulders and clutching the jersey between his fingers to hold on. Louis never wanted to touch the ground again. </p><p>“Hey, it’s your turn to try figure-skating and I fully expect you to put just as much effort as I did, Mister,” Louis said as sternly as he schooled his face into. </p><p>Harry nodded sagely and let Louis land gently against the ice back on his feet. It was disheartening only for a brief moment when Harry fixed it with a dimpled smile and bright green eyes. </p><p>“I’m rubbish at skating, this is going to be so humiliating. I didn’t laugh at you so you best not laugh at me,” Harry pouted. </p><p>Louis crossed a finger over his heart. “Promise.”</p><p>Harry raised a brow and held out his ringed pinky. “Pinky?”</p><p>“Pinky.” Louis was sure that the smile on his face was beaming brighter than the harsh white lights that lit up the rink, but he wrapped his smaller finger around the bigger one awaiting him and never felt happier. </p><p>He decided on showing Harry how to do an axel-jump. They were his favorite trick and he had learned how to do one when he was about eight or nine, so they shouldn’t be too hard. </p><p>“So first,” Louis began to skate backwards, arms out and feeling the breeze from his speed start to tickle at his strands of hair on the back of his neck. “You want to cross-cut backwards in a circle.”</p><p>He was making big loops around the rink, short dress flowing and the familiar rush of adrenaline making its way down his body. Harry stood motionless, watching with a wary expression that only deepened when Louis beckoned him to follow. </p><p>“I’m not very good at backwards anything, much less crossing my legs over each other.”</p><p>It was Louis’ turn to frown. Harry already sounded so defeated, but Louis wasn’t sure how to comfort him. </p><p>“You didn’t let me throw a fuss, so I won’t allow you to.”</p><p>They were still skating, Harry pushing forward easily and Louis pushing backwards just as swiftly. He wasn’t worried about falling or crashing, the ice had never let him down and neither did his skills. </p><p>“Yeah, but you’re a literal Olympian. You’ve won Gold. Like, forty-billion-times,” Harry pouted, eyes on Louis’ skates as he focused on the movement of the crosscuts. </p><p>“Harry,” Louis reprimanded with a shocked lilt in his tone. “You play hockey on an American team. That’s just as impressive.” </p><p>Harry perked up a bit and stopped in his place. “Is not, but I’ll make an effort because you look so damn cute in your skate-dress.” He smiled brightly when Louis stopped too, a bright flush on his cheeks and a skip in his heart. </p><p>“Um,” Louis squeaked. “I, uh. Thank you.”</p><p>Harry looked smug enough, especially when his pointer finger went to bop at Louis’ nose. “What’s the next step, teacher?”</p><p>Louis tried to regain his composure, but it was so bloody hard when he would bend his knees a little and spin only to find Harry’s eyes on his legs. And he supposed that’s where Harry should be looking, to study the movement he’s expected to mirror in order to perfect the jump, but it’s so distracting. </p><p>His green eyes are dark and focused, it’s so intense and unnerving that Louis hopes the shake in his voice comes across as out of breath from his demonstrations. Harry hums and makes half-hearted motions to practice, just trying to familiarize his body with the unnatural twists of his ankles and hips in the air.</p><p>Every time he would finish, he’d ask Louis to do it again because he’d already forgotten. And Louis didn’t mind, because he could spend hours just jumping and he could tell Harry was genuinely making an effort; it was just hard for Louis to not cry with how much he was attracted to Harry and his creepily intense stare. </p><p>As hard as Harry’s eyes were, it only served to make Louis feel wanted.</p><p>It was embarrassing, he whined to himself mid-jump, how he was getting hot and bothered over Harry staring at him so he could learn. It wasn’t even anything sexual. His outfit was short and flowy just as all of them are, people watched him perform in them, it was never sexual. </p><p>But with Harry, poor Harry who just wanted to learn how to jump, Louis felt like it was sexual. God, Louis loathed how lonely he was. </p><p>“When you complete the circle, stand on the right back outside edge,” Louis skated back with his left leg lifted behind him in a straight line, his arms out, and his right skate on the ground, leaning his body forward just slightly. “And then jump!”</p><p>He bounced on the front of his right skate, landing a simple twirl that wasn’t like the complicated ones he would perform for competitions. </p><p>“You make it look so easy,” Harry huffed, but followed with another attempt. His jump wasn’t high enough and he landed awkwardly on his skates, stumbling but standing with a grimace.</p><p>Harry wasn’t bad, perse, he just wasn’t good. It might have something to do with his body, it was too big and broad and his balance was all in his upper body. Louis was compact and could send his body flying easily, he was lightweight and knew where to place pressure on the points of his body so it seemed like he was floating. </p><p>“Try not to put so much of your focus on this,” Louis gestured to the top half of his body. “Put it all right here. I, um, it’s kind of embarrassing? The way that I do it, but I mean, I can tell you? If, um, you want. Just to see if it might help? Or not, I just––”</p><p>“I’d like to know, please,” Harry reassures gently, cutting off the panicked ramble. </p><p>“Okay!” Louis practically shouts and he’s not sure why he’s suddenly losing the little bit of confident composure he built for himself. Maybe he does know, understands the familiar ache that blooms in his chest, but it’s fine. Louis is fine now. “Well, um, my––my m-mom––”</p><p>He takes a deep breath, hears it ring out shakily in his own ears, and keeps his eyes on the floor. He spreads his arms out, letting them float in the air like he’s swimming in water, carefully poised and collected. </p><p>“She’s the one who taught me how to skate. And when I was learning how to jump an axel, a proper one that would look good to the judges, she told me to close my eyes and pretend I was a butterfly. She said to picture all my weight and crush it into a little butterfly floating through the air right where my chest was. Right here in the center,” He recited, focusing on gliding before making a tight leap in the air. </p><p>He bowed, flush from the rush of emotions and the rush the ice always gave him, shyly meeting Harry’s fond eyes. The taller man made his way over, careful as if approaching a spooked animal, and rested a hand on Louis’ hip with the other by his ribcage. </p><p>“Thank you for sharing that with me, I know your mother means a lot to you,” He said ever so softly, forehead coming to touch Louis’ slightly sweaty one. </p><p>And of course he does. Of course he knows what his mother meant to him. The entire world knew, their close relationship was on display for the entire world to see at all his competitions, at the Olympics. </p><p>She was always there for him. She made all his dresses, held his teddy bear on the sidelines so he could kiss it before his performances, rubbed his back during all the interviews during the promo season for the Games, massaged him when he was sore and gave him supportive kisses to calm his nerves.</p><p>His mother was his world––is his world. </p><p>Everyone knew that and it was a media spectacle when she passed away. It was all anyone talked about during his second and final Olympics run. It was murmured as he skated, as he trained, as Gold medals were placed on his neck. His grief was demanded under a public response during the broadcasted interviews as microphones were shoved under his face by pushy television hosts. </p><p>Louis didn’t realize he was crying until a calloused, thick thumb swept the tears falling from his closed eyes. Harry’s arm wrapped around his shoulders to bury him in his chest and Louis fell into it easily. He felt safe and warm and ridiculous. </p><p>God, he was so pathetic. He was crying in Harry’s arms—Harry, who only wanted an easy hang-out and not a therapy session with an emotionally unstable child. </p><p>He pushed himself away, sniffled and wiped at his eyes, but Harry reigned him back in. </p><p>“Hey, hey, hey,” Harry cooed, soft voice rumbling amongst the hum of the arena generator. “It’s okay, you’re allowed to cry about it Louis.”</p><p>Louis shook his head again, his temple rubbing against the rough jersey material against Harry’s sternum. He was willing his tears to stop dropping so quickly and it seemed to be working because there were only a few that followed his sniffles. </p><p>They stood in silence, Harry comforting him with silly little humming songs and soothing rubs against the fabric of his costume that broke away the tension in his bones. Louis could feel himself starting to drift off but then the beat of the song Harry was humming became familiar to him. </p><p>“Are you singing ‘Baby Shark?’” Louis giggled, sniffing with a stuffy nose, lifting his head for the first time in a while and letting his body relax entirely. </p><p>Harry looked a bit sheepish and shrugged his shoulders. “They started playing that during the hockey games and ‘ve had it stuck in my head for a while. Made you laugh, didn’t it?”</p><p>Louis laughed again and nodded, the weight on his shoulders lifted completely. “Thank you. I’m sorry for being all—bleh.” Louis stuck his tongue out in mild disgust. Stupid emotions. He was fine. </p><p>“You don’t have to apologize for something as serious as your emotions. They’re valid and they should be expressed when they call for it,” Harry frowned. </p><p>He’s heard this before, millions and millions of times before. Hua and Maksim probably reprimanded him during practice earlier. It’s nothing new but it’s entirely irrelevant. </p><p>Louis just nodded his head as he breathed out a sigh. “Well?” He asked, holding his arm out impatiently but still flashing his little smile. “Are you going to try again or are we going to hug each other the entire session?”</p><p>“I like holding you,” Harry pouted, enough conviction in his voice to make Louis blush. “I’d rather do that please. I’d insult your mum’s beautiful legacy and teaching if I made an attempt.” </p><p>Louis smiled again. “Shut up and just do it.”</p><p>“Actually, I’m legally only allowed to sponsor Adidas on the ice. Not Nike. NHL contract and all,” Harry made an ‘Oh well’ gesture and tried to skate away. </p><p>Louis giggled as he sped up to stop right in front of him. “No!” He squealed, pushing Harry’s chest with all his might to make the man skate backwards. He knew Harry was helping him out because the man was heavy, way heavier than anything Louis could push, and Harry sighed exasperatedly and defeated. </p><p>“You promised! I learn your weird sport and you learn mine, no laughing or funny business,” Louis said as sternly as he could, hands on his hips to get the whole effect across. </p><p>“Fine,” Harry groaned. “If I twist my ankle and I’m out for the season, you’ll have angry Americans pouncing on your door. Not even your cute dog can save you.”</p><p>“What about my cute face?” Louis grinned, feeling better than he had the entire day. His face was bright red but he didn’t falter and he stood his ground. </p><p>Harry cackled his obnoxious donkey honk that Louis found himself so in love with and bounced his head from side to side as if considering it. “I’d bet that it could get you out of anything, even angry Americans, but I’m not very inclined to break my ankle to find out if I’d win or not.”</p><p> </p><p>Harry put his full effort into the next hundred jumps, still wobbling and complaining about how hockey skating doesn’t need all the lifts and jumps so he wasn’t meant for it, but he eventually landed it. And Louis felt so proud, pride beaming from his chest as Harry whooped loud enough for his voice to echo all around them in the empty arena. </p><p>He carried Louis over his shoulder in a firm fireman’s carry, ignoring all of Louis’ giggles and pleads to be put down and hands slapping at his back; he continued to shout about his greatness and amazingness all the way to the locker room. </p><p>“Harry! If you fall, I’m going to land on my face!” Louis squawked, but they both knew there wasn’t an ounce of seriousness in his voice. He felt secure even with just a single one of Harry’s arms crossed over the backs of his thighs; he trusted Harry and he’s seen the size of Harry’s arms. </p><p>Harry wouldn’t let him fall. </p><p>They reached the locker room with a boom as Harry slammed open the door, stomping over to their lockers. </p><p>“I’m just going to change out of my skates. Are you going to change?” He asked as he let Louis jump down, lowering them both closer to the ground so Louis didn’t have to leap off. Harry was always so sweet. </p><p>And Oh shit.</p><p>Was he going to have to change in front of Harry? He wasn’t ready for that. Harry was beautiful and Louis was––</p><p>“If you are, I’ll wait for you outside,” He shrugged, already sitting to undo the laces of his black skates. “Do you want to get dinner? There’s a fish ‘n chips down the road I haven’t tried yet but the girls at the front counter—the ones who always give me the key to the resurfacers—said that they’re pretty good for the price and the mushy peas are very recommended.”</p><p>Louis stood frozen as Harry made idle talk. How was this man real? But mainly, why was he hanging around Louis? He actually kissed Louis. </p><p>“I don’t like mushy peas,” Louis commented, even as Harry had already moved on to talk about a place in LA that he thinks Louis would like. </p><p>Harry pouted. “Mushy peas are great.” He stood to his full height, trainers on and bag slung over his head. “But we can try out some other place if––”</p><p>“No, no, we can try it out. I like chips. And fish.”</p><p>The taller man looked pleased. “Thank you,” He said with a bow. “I’ll wait for you outside. Take your time.” He left with a gentle kiss to Louis’ temple.</p><p>And now Louis was alone again, but this time, he didn’t feel so heavy. He quickly peeled off the tight clothing, being mindful of the jewels so they wouldn’t get caught in his hair or on the fabric of his tights. He taped up his muscles and rolled up his ankle. He put on his big loose hoodie and his favorite trackies, fixing the clips in his hair, bunching his big socks over the ankle band of his trackies, slipping into his old vans, throwing his costume in his little duffle with his skates, and making his way out the exit. </p><p>It was faster than his normal slow place. He liked to take his time to tape himself, allow his thoughts to sink in to fester for the rest of his day––the way he did on the ice, how he can improve, what he can do next time, what his mother would say and what they’d do together. </p><p>He didn’t have the time to let the negative drown him, he had Harry waiting for him outside. He thought of his mother, let the warmth soothe him rather than force loneliness onto him. It was the first time in so long that he didn’t feel lonely. </p><p>“Here’s a, um, those bars that—in case you’re hungry, to like hold you over until we get to the shop,” Harry said the moment Louis popped up beside him, sliding Louis’ duffle strap onto the shoulder already holding his own. In his hands was the same brand of protein bars that Louis always ate before his practices. </p><p>Louis took it gleefully. He loved these choco bars that were sugary enough to hide the disgusting taste of protein. They were his favorite and-wait. </p><p>“These are my favorite. How did you guess?” </p><p>They were walking out to Harry’s Range Rover and Harry suddenly appeared bashful as he scratched the back of his neck. Louis hopped into the passenger seat, the door held open for him by Harry, and looked up at him, waiting for an answer. </p><p>“Well, I mean, like, you gave me your number on one of these wrappers so I went out to buy a pack to try for myself. And I like them, they’re good! But I figured, I could bring one for you,” Harry bounced his shoulders twice, looking at his fingers. </p><p>Louis’ heart pounded in his chest, he was full of the color red and pink and green, the mossy green color of Harry’s eyes. </p><p>“You’re very sweet to me, Harry, and I’m very grateful for that. I-I don’t know what I did to deserve you or your treatment, but I’m—” He felt his throat closing up with the overwhelming feeling of how happy he felt. Harry was practically still a stranger, they’d not known each other longer than two weeks, but he was the nicest person he’s ever known.</p><p>Harry was, at the very least, a real friend. Hua and Maksim and June were the only ones he’s had, but now he can add Harry to that tiny list and he’s never felt more complete, like a puzzle missing a piece. It was all too soon and Louis has always been an idiot who grasped onto things, onto people too quickly, but even if this was only a temporary fix, he was happy. In this moment, and all the moments Harry would offer him, Louis was the exact type of happy he’d been craving his entire life. </p><p>“Louis,” Harry breathed out. “I-I really, really, really like you. I’ve been a fan of yours for years and I’ve always admired you for your athleticism and because of you and I just. I like you, a lot. I’m grateful for you giving me your time, I-I like you. God, I can’t say it enough really. I want to be, like, boyfriends, one day. Or whatever you’ll have me as, but know that I like you very much and I care about you and how you feel and—”</p><p>He didn’t allow the man to continue to tumble over words, instead he allowed himself to give into the space between Harry’s arms that called out to him. He tackled Harry in a hug, the man catching him easily and only misstepping back once with the force, before bringing their tangled bodies into the seat of the car. They probably looked indecent, Louis lying half out of the car and half in it as Harry’s body pressed him down with his body, breathing air mixed with soft kisses into his neck, arms squeezed tight around each other. </p><p>But it was really only a hug, a desperate one that Louis hoped communicated how much he felt for the man. It was a hug that lifted all of Louis’ worries and anxieties away to float in the cold air around them, that made him feel loved and safe. It was the remedy to everything Louis felt was wrong and Harry let them stay in that awkward position for as long as Louis needed. </p><p>They embraced until Harry’s phone buzzed with the ticket reminder that the parking spot was no longer reserved for them and if a parking officer found the car wasn’t moved then he would get a ticket and Harry had to break them away. Louis didn’t want to be needy, but he already missed Harry, missed the shift that sparked between them, as Harry walked over to his driver’s side. </p><p>But then Harry tangled their fingers together, pressed a kiss to the back of Louis’ hand, and drove them off to their dinner destination, making Louis laugh on the way, and didn’t let his hand go the rest of the night. </p><p>Louis was happy.</p><p>-x-</p><p>“Woah! He’s awfully friendly, isn’t he?” Harry huffed out a laugh, catching the big fluffy dog that jumped at him with ease. Clifford was yipping happily, tail wagging at a rapid speed, tongue out and sliding everywhere with excitement. Harry was on his knees, hugging and patting and taking all the licks and sniffs from the dog easily. </p><p>Louis watched on with what he imagined to be the biggest heart eyes in the world, swooning just a little bit more at the sight of Harry talking to Clifford like a baby and Clifford jumping on the man with glee. It was the cutest thing ever, Louis’ baby meeting Harry. </p><p>“He really likes people,” Louis offered for explanation, but he knew Harry couldn’t hear him over the new conversation he’d started with the fluffy animal. </p><p>“You’re the cutest, best pup in the world, aren’t you?” Harry cooed, petting Cliff behind the ears. Clifford’s eyes were closed and he looked very content. Louis didn’t mind being in the background, loved seeing them interact and fall in love with each other’s friendliness.</p><p>Harry invited them over to his flat, wanted to have a mini-party in celebration of being completely unpacked and settled in. He insisted Louis bring over his dog because if they were dating—Louis is still squealing—he’d have to meet him eventually and get Clifford’s approval and why not at his flat? </p><p>Louis was still standing outside in the hall, watching the two coo over one another, and tried to peek inside. It smelled amazing, like vanilla and whatever Harry made for dinner, and Louis was still in shock that soon, he’d be in Harry’s home. He was content where he was, no complaints running around when Clifford and Harry looked so happy together. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to ignore you, baby,” Harry suddenly stood, stepping away from the black dog that was still vying for his attention. He brought him into a hug and a kiss, soft touches and pecks all along Louis’ face. “I’ve missed you.”</p><p> </p><p>Louis’ face was probably meant to be cradled between Harry’s hands, but it was mainly squished and made him look like a fish. “I’ve missed you too,” He echoed, words coming out just a tiny bit slurred from the force holding his cheeks. </p><p>It hadn’t been more than a few days that they’d last seen each other, hanging out at the rink and kissing on the ice and eating at a pub down the street. It hadn’t even been more than a few days since their last date, a picnic and a film on Harry’s laptop.</p><p>Harry smiled brightly, glowing green eyes wandering over Louis and Louis suddenly felt underdressed. He was wearing jeggings and a sweater, old vans and fluffy socks, and he looked ready to lounge about, not like he was going to eat dinner with someone as handsome as Harry. </p><p>“You look beautiful,” Harry complimented, soothing the doubt that was already rolling around in Louis’ head. “I love how soft you are.” His hands were petting at Louis’ hips and shoulders and elbows and waist and Louis nearly lost himself in them before Clifford stepped between them again. “And you look very nice, too, Clifford.”</p><p>He gave the dog a few head pats before leading them both in, letting Clifford roam the new area and taking Louis straight to the kitchen. His flat was so big and homely, soft greys and pale blues and warm browns with picture frames and art littering the walls wonderfully. It was full of knick-knacks and the fridge had funny magnets and postcards and a doodle from his nephew who gifted it with the phrase “Uncle Ha-Ha.”</p><p>Louis took a moment to study it, feeling soft over the scratchy crayon sketch of a tall green stickman with curly hair and a hockey stick standing next to a smaller stick-boy with blonde hair. They were next to a blob that Louis couldn’t understand, underneath the scraggly, crooked misspelled words. </p><p>“My nephew, I babysat him for a week while my sister went on vacation. I took him to Disneyland and he sat in the dugout with me and my team. That was his thank-you note. I think the blob was a combination of Disneyland and the ice-rink, I’m not sure,” Harry frowned, staring at the paper like it would refresh his memory. </p><p>“That’s adorable,” Louis melted, heart clenching at the idea of Harry around little children. God, he’d be so sweet to them, so patient and just a little mischievous. Louis could feel his heart start to beat quicker with daydreams of Harry and children and Clifford and—</p><p>Way too over his head, Louis scolded. </p><p>“He lives back in Cheshire, but Gem’s got a trip to Aussie for her business in a couple weeks, so I reckon I’ll get to babysit him again. He’ll absolutely adore you,” Harry looked giddy, guiding Louis over to a boiling pot on the stove. “I made pasta because I remember you mentioning you liked fettuccine, but I’m not sure if you liked chicken alfredo so I took a risk, but definitely no mushy peas for you.”</p><p>Harry flashed an accomplished smile and Louis matched his eagerness. “Sorry for being such a picky eater. It looks good, Harry, really good. Thank you, I can’t wait.” He felt confident and grateful enough to give Harry a warm kiss on the back of his neck, the only spot he could reach on his tip-toes. </p><p>“I put together this little meal for Clifford so he could eat with us,” Harry explained as he brought out an extra bowl. “I was reading up on recipes and it said that the white chicken should be good and the potatoes and eggs and carrots and bananas are, like, dog favorites. So,” He shrugged as Louis studied the nicely put together plate, all the foods piled neatly and orderly. </p><p>“Harry,” Louis was speechless, mouth hanging open and eyes starting to water.</p><p>The man looked startled, stepping into Louis’ space cautiously, hands reaching out carefully to land on Louis safely above the hip. “Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to make you upset. We don’t have to eat this if you don’t want to and Cliff doesn’t have to eat his food. I don’t really know why you’re getting all worked up, love, but it’s okay, I—”</p><p>Louis couldn’t do anything but grasp onto him as tightly as he could, practically launching himself at Harry, who, to his credit, caught him without hesitation. “Um, Louis? Are you okay, darling?” Louis nodded his head and laughed, bright and watery and happy, burying himself into Harry’s shoulder as far as he could go. “Can you walk me through what’s happening because I’m a little lost, babe.”</p><p>“Nothing,” Louis giggled. “You’re absolutely perfect, Harry Styles. You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever had the pleasure of being with. You make me happy, the happiest I’ve been in so long and I really like you, Harry.” </p><p>It was more of an honest confession than Louis was prepared for, catching him off guard and leaving him with a measure of uncertainty. </p><p>Harry sighed out, what sounded like, in relief, body relaxing in the tight hold. “Baby, baby, baby, I think I’m falling in love with you. You’re so soft and sweet, love, and God, you’re so wonderful and I don’t think I stood a chance against you.”</p><p>Everytime Louis was with Harry, laughing about something silly he’d said or getting to be held by strong arms, Louis felt happy. He felt safe, he felt sane, he felt wanted. He didn’t feel the loneliness that calls to him like it was his only friend, he didn’t feel the echo of the quiet. He didn’t feel like half of him was missing. He didn’t know how to say any of this without scaring Harry off, he didn’t want Harry to think of him as broken or needy or crazy. </p><p>“I feel the same,” Louis whispered back shyly, a goofy smile covering his entire face. Harry looked just as goofy, a wolfish grin decorating his cheeks. God, Harry was so fucking gorgeous.</p><p>The sound of Clifford clambering over to them, paws scratching against the wood floors, his heavy weight latching onto Louis and pushing him over. Louis would’ve fallen had Harry not been already holding his weight and they both looked down at the dog wagging his tail and barking at them uncontrollably. </p><p>“Can I help you, little one?” Louis gave into Clifford’s cry out for help, scratching behind his ears and letting him lick his hands. The dog couldn’t do anything other than whine before jumping up at the counter with his bowl on it, ignoring Louis’ scolding in favor of trying to reach out for the food. “Cliff, no! Ugh, I’m sorry Harry, he really loves to eat.” </p><p>Harry just laughed at them both, moving the bowl to the table and bidding a kiss to Louis’ temple. “I reckon he’s hungry, can’t blame a dog for that. Go sit at the table, love, I’ll get our plates.”</p><p>Louis led Clifford to the small dining area by his collar, setting him down by the chairs and patting his head to keep him still. He took a moment to look around, take in the wall of framed photos of Harry’s family and friends, touch the sturdy, round brown table that could sit four. </p><p>“What do you think, puppy? Do you like Harry?” Louis searched the sweet brown eyes that blinked back at him blankly. “I like him a lot, I think I’m about a kiss away from telling him to propose. Are you okay with Harry being your daddy?” He spoke as lowly as he could, whispering silly little questions and babbles of conversation that Clifford seemed to be listening to if his raised ears and tilted head were anything to go by. </p><p>“Dinner is coming!” Harry announced, balancing three plates and two wine glasses in both his hands and forearms. Louis went to help him, but Harry shot him down. “I was a waiter for like two months when I was in college. I was pretty good.” He winked at Louis, who rolled his eyes at him fondly. </p><p>“It looks amazing Harry, I’m absolutely impressed. I might have to keep you around forever if you cook me meals like this all the time,” Louis waggled his eyebrows, picking up his fork and scooting his plate closer to him. </p><p>Harry hummed and laughed, shrugging his shoulders and moving to sit down across from Louis. “Not sure if I can cook meals like this everyday, but if you’re keeping me forever, I can try,” Harry said it so casually, serious and easy-going all at once. Louis tried not to choke on his own spit. </p><p>“Oh, um,” Louis tried but Harry took a sip of his glass of wine and continued. </p><p>“Hockey season gets a little busy for me and I spend a lot of days on the road, and I’m sure when your comps or performances come up, it’ll be busy for us, too, but I think we can manage a fancy meal every now and then, right?”</p><p>Harry looked to Louis, who hadn’t moved the entire time Harry was speaking, and chewed through a bite of pasta. He could hear Clifford lapping at his bowl of food happily and hear the swoosh of a car passing. </p><p>“Y-You’d have me for that long?” </p><p>Harry frowned, putting his fork down and reaching for Louis’ frozen hand. He intertwined them instinctually, squeezing in comfort and searching Louis with open green eyes. “‘Course I would, Lou. Why wouldn’t I? I told you how serious I was about this-about you. Do you not want—are you—I mean, like, do you want to have me for that long?”</p><p>“Yes! I-I do want this, too. I just, like, I don’t know,” Louis rushed out in small breaths, quick to reassure Harry’s descending tone but unsure about how exactly to tell him. Tell Harry that he’s not good enough, that he won’t be able to take Harry leaving him one day. </p><p>The frown didn’t leave and Harry leaned as close as he could with the table between them. “Baby, I’m serious. A-Are you, like, unsure about it? Are we going too fast or something?” When Louis didn’t respond, he could feel Harry get more frantic and it was killing him. “Lou, you can talk to me, I want to be here for you and I can’t if you won’t let me in.”</p><p>Louis shook his head, trying to break his hands free to fidget and dig into the meal he no longer believed he could stomach. </p><p>“Louis, love, say something so I’m not shooting in the dark.” </p><p>“I-I don’t know how to say it without sounding like I’m such a needy baby,” Louis’ tone wavered with all of his fears and doubts and coming tears. He felt so pathetic, spilling his heart out during what was supposed to be a nice evening. He was better than this, he wanted to prove to Harry that he was trying his hardest and he could be good, that he was absolutely fine. </p><p>He heard the sound of a wooden chair screeching against the floor as it was pushed back and he felt arms wrap around him and it all felt so absurd—his emotions and Harry being the poor witness—that he let out a hysterical wet giggle as a track of tears slid down his face. Harry, to his credit, took him and all his insanity in an easy stride, surrounding him with supportive arms and drawing him into a solid chest. His chin sat on top of Louis’ head as he was squished in, Clifford coming into view by his feet. </p><p>“I’m not crazy, I promise,” Louis hiccupped through giggles. “God, I’m so stupid, H.” </p><p>“I know you well enough to know that you’re not either of those things, love. And I want you to go at your own pace and share whatever you’re willing to get off your chest when you feel like you should, but I’m extremely confused and worried, so if you can give me anything at all, I’d appreciate it,” Harry mumbled softly as if not to disturb the small quiet that settled between them. </p><p>“Please don’t get tired of me and leave,” Louis mumbled back just as sadly, scrambling to keep Harry latched onto him when the man made a means to move. “I know it’s a lot to ask, and you can leave me for anything else, but please don’t tell me it’s because you’re tired of me.”</p><p>“Louis, how could you think something like that?” It sounded like Harry was fumbling for words, confused and upset and Louis never meant for any of this to happen. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen myself having a future with someone. I want a future with you, I wish you could see that. And I’m not saying that you need to cease feeling the way you do because it’s not like my words have any control over you, but I-I do feel extremely strong for you and I don’t mind spending forever proving it to you.”</p><p>Harry sounded convicted, words confident and sure and sharp enough for Louis to actually believe him, if only in this moment in time. He didn’t say anything, just squeezed him as hard as he was able to. He didn’t want to move from this spot, he didn’t want to leave this flat, leave Harry’s arms. He was safe and he was fine here. </p><p>“Thank you, H. Sorry for being silly, I get like that sometimes. Can we eat now?” Louis giggled and it did little to remove the creases in Harry’s forehead, or to scare away any doubt still lingering within Louis, but once Louis poked his cheek, all the worry left Harry.</p><p>“Of course, love,” He gave him a couple of pecks on his forehead and his temple before standing straight and sitting opposite him at the table. He twisted a fork in the noodles and brought it up to Louis’ mouth, wiggling his eyebrows. “Take the first bite, I made it just for you.”</p><p>Louis laughed as he dove in, teeth clanking around the metal as his lips wrapped around it. The pasta was as amazing as it looked, full of flavor and soft and warm and buttery and the cream and the chicken were all mushed together deliciously. “Holy shit, Haz, you’re a proper chef!”</p><p>Harry cackled, tilting his head back before taking a bite off the same fork. “I can honestly only cook about three dishes,” He confessed sheepishly, pushing all his food into one cheek. Louis found himself endeared with the lack of table manners. “I want to get better, but it’s kind of depressing only cooking for myself and there’s only a handful of times I can cook for the team. But,” He sang out, smiling cheekily. “Now I have you and I make you whatever you want.”</p><p>Louis smiled after taking another bite. “So ‘m your guinea pig now, is that it? Gonna be tasting all the yucky ones and the burned biscuits.”</p><p>“Do you like biscuits? Because I might need to start practicing that one, I’ve never baked before. Well, I used to work at a bakery when I was like sixteen, but I was only at the till,” Harry frowned, chewing through big forkfuls of pasta. He chewed sort of like a cow, overexaggerated movements of his jaw, but it was helplessly adorable. </p><p>“Only the tilly? How cute,” Louis mumbled, picturing a sixteen-year old Harry with the same cheeky smile. </p><p>“I was not cute at sixteen. I had so much pudge on me and my acne didn’t stop peppering my face until, like, last week. If we had met at sixteen, you’d want nothing to do with me.”</p><p>Louis giggled, stealing a quick sip from the glass of white wine beside his plate. “How are you so sure? I wasn’t exactly a looker either.” He shuddered at the idea of his younger self, much more timid and quiet than he was now and with a strange obsession with brightly colored tights. </p><p>Harry scoffed, copying Louis in taking a swig of the beverage. “Um, I’ve seen you at sixteen. You were quite literally all over the telly and you were an Olympian. Like, an actual Olympian. Your name is literally Britain’s Sweetheart! That’s hardly fair.”</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes. “That’s only because I was a child, not because I was any pretty. Adults are endeared by children, no matter how awkward and weird they are. And Brits are especially endeared by children who bring some sort of recognition to the Queen’s country.” </p><p>“Well, my sister had the biggest crush on you and at least half of my school did, too. So, there’s that.”</p><p>Louis blushed, giggling at Harry’s winning tone. “And not you? Was Harry Styles too good for an Olympic Gold Medalist?”</p><p>The man snorted, finishing the bite in his mouth and clanking his fork against his almost empty plate. “I’m not revealing anything. It’s hardly fair that I’ve known you longer than you’ve known me, I will not be sharing any information of the sort.”</p><p>Louis burst into laughter. “It’s hardly fair you’ve known me longer than I’ve known you, you probably have way more information and dirt on me than I, you.”</p><p>Harry hummed, raising an eyebrow. “Are there things out there that I can find out that you’re embarrassed about? My God, Louis Tomlinson, what have you been up to?”</p><p>“Like you’ve not seen any interview I ever did during the press tours, if you insist I was all over the telly. I’m a mess in each and every one of them. Can’t keep eye contact, red as a tomato. One day, I’m going to pay for them to be erased forever.”</p><p>Harry honked out a laugh. “You were not that bad. One time, I rambled my way through a poor journalist’s interview. I’d not answered a single question other than what I’d been up to over the off-season.”</p><p>“You did not!” Louis squealed, covering his open mouth with a dainty hand. </p><p>“Did too,” Harry winced, forking through his plate. “I felt awful when the PR rep came in and said time was up and Jesus, you should’ve seen the poor woman’s face. It was the saddest one ever. Had to call her magazine when I went back to the hotel at night and apologize. I made up for it, but none of my mates will ever let me live it down. Or anyone else.”</p><p>“What could you’ve possibly said to have taken up all her time?” </p><p>“Well, she’d asked what I’d been up to and I had been up to a lot. Like, I went to Japan for a month and met a hockey club over there. And I began yoga and meditation and we got a rookie on the team and he was really cool and I don’t remember what else, but there was a lot that was happening!” Harry insisted, slapping a heavy hand in offense when Louis continued to tease him. “Not funny. You should eat instead!”</p><p>He leaned over the table to steal Louis’ fork, shoving a bite of pasta and chicken into his open mouth. Louis almost choked from his laughter and from the food Harry continued to shovel in his mouth, batting at Harry’s big arms with useless swats. Harry only stopped when Louis ducked his head away, groaning about how full he was and patting his tummy. </p><p>“I can’t eat as much as you do, Haz,” Louis complained, a smile still on his face as Harry ate up whatever Louis didn’t finish. Harry wasn’t embarrassed about eating all of Louis’ leftovers anymore and it made Louis pleased. “Thank you, Harry. I really loved it and I’m so thankful for everything you’ve done.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop thanking me, lovey,” Harry beamed at him, standing to help Louis onto his own feet. ”Can we please watch a movie?” He’d asked, but was already pulling Louis in the direction of the big grey couch. He plopped down on it, opening his arms up for Louis to plop inside them, looking happy and handsome and just like Louis’ dreams. He went easily, settling in like he belonged there, and accepting the sweet kiss Harry placed on his lips.</p><p>“Can we watch Grease?” He snatched the remote from Harry’s hands cheekily, flicking through the Netflix menu until the movie card came into view. </p><p>Harry just leaned back and held Louis tighter, reaching around to pet Clifford, who’d followed them and jumped onto Louis’ lap. Laying with them felt like home, it felt like a warm bubble where nothing could come in and hurt him. He felt like he could stay here forever, he wanted to. </p><p>At some point, he’d lost focus on the movie and couldn’t get himself to relax one bit. He was hyper aware of everywhere their bodies touched, from Harry’s hand on his hip to his head on Harry’s shoulder. He counted each time Harry’s fingers rubbed slow circles into his skin, when he touched Louis’ thigh and gave it a squeeze, when he tore his gaze from the screen to kiss Louis all over his neck and face. He felt himself burning under the heat from his body, getting dizzy with the scent of Harry, and wanting to bury himself further into the space of his arms until he was drowning in them. He couldn’t get his body to stop being so stiff, afraid if he let his guard down he’d do something irrationally needy to scream out how much he wanted something. </p><p>They got further into the movie, the part where Danny gets jealous of Sandy’s date, before Harry finally said something. </p><p>“You okay? You seem a little tense,” He mumbled into Louis’ temple, mouthing at the wisps of hair there. It did nothing to help Louis and the little situation he’d gotten himself into, his deep voice was like a siren rumbling Louis further into his spacey state. </p><p>Louis gulped and nodded, willing his body to stop twitching, and Harry let it go for another few minutes before adjusting his position. In the move, Louis’ hand slipped in a rush of being jostled and brushed right on Harry’s upper lap, just centimeters away from the soft bulge in his pants. </p><p>Louis froze in horror and Harry kicked a leg out in shock, sitting up straight and slipping his leg away from Louis. He cleared his throat and blurted out a “Sorry!” the same time Louis did. </p><p>“Sorry! I-I—“</p><p>“No! No, no, no, my fault,” Harry rushed out, scratching his neck. “It’s alright, my mistake. Sorry.”</p><p>It was awkward and Louis’ sure his face was a violent red. He thanked every star that they were in the dark and Harry couldn’t see how flustered he’d become. He crossed his legs over one another and began to fidget with his fingers. God, Louis hated himself for being so awkward, but mostly, he hated himself for wanting<br/>
more.  </p><p>It wasn’t appropriate. Harry wanted to watch a movie and here Louis was, ready to offer up his body. Jesus, Clifford was right there. Harry cleared his throat again and his leg began bouncing up and down anxiously. Louis sent him a side look of concern and saw that Harry was biting and pulling at the skin on his index finger with his teeth. </p><p>It seemed like forever when the movie finally ended, the air thick with an unknown tension that Louis’ surely never felt in his life. Neither one of them moved when the credits rolled, just let the silence bury them. Harry cleared his throat again before standing abruptly. </p><p>“Sorry!” He exclaimed when Louis jumped at the sudden outburst. His hands were in front of his pants and he had a blush on his face too and his curls were damp and—</p><p>Oh. Oh.</p><p>“I’ve got—um. Bathroom,” Harry stuttered before darting away down the hall, leaving Louis a mess. Literally. </p><p>God, what the hell was Louis supposed to do? He knew what he wanted to do, as scared and inexperienced as he may be. He just didn’t know how to get that message across the board without making a fool of himself. </p><p>He must’ve sat there contemplating and overthinking and only making his lower situation worse for five years, but then, his mind flipped a switch. </p><p>He found himself standing and following the direction Harry went in with steady steps, telling Clifford to stay and praying he did. The bathroom was down the hall to the left and the door was opened, but Harry wasn’t there. And Louis wasn’t going to let his bout of confidence go to waste. He was going to go after what he wanted. </p><p>When he got to Harry’s bedroom, he couldn’t be distracted by the details of the cozy space or the shake of his hands. Louis took a deep breath as he approached the white bathroom door connected to the room and knocked with all the bravery left in him. </p><p>“Uh—Yeah?!” Harry shouted over the sound of the tap. </p><p>“Um, Harry?” Louis asked, unsure again. He heard rustling and the sound of something falling to the ground followed by whispered curses. “Harry—“</p><p>The door opened and Harry looked as if he’d been running his hands through his hair wildly. Louis couldn’t help but glance down at Harry’s obvious bulge and Harry took notice right away. Both their eyes widened and Louis froze up again, but Harry took the lead of the conversation. </p><p>“Shit, Louis, I’m really sorry and I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable and you can definitely yell at me all you want for popping a stiffy like I’m in bloody secondary. I can call a cabby or something and—“</p><p>Louis would have laughed at the silly distress Harry was in if he wasn’t so fucking turned on. </p><p>“Harry,” Louis mumbled, blush dotting his face. “It’s o-okay. I, um. I’m—“ He let his words trail off because he wasn’t getting his point across right and it threw Harry off for a brief moment, flashing a confused puppy face and a tilt of his head. </p><p>Harry searched for any sign to understand what Louis meant and when he didn’t find it, his eyes roamed his body. It was unnervingly attractive, being practically inspected by Harry for any sign of something, possibly anything would turn Louis on right now. It didn’t take long for him to find it, the bump in Louis’ pants was small but still noticeably visible, and his eyes widened even more. </p><p>“Oh! Oh,” Harry said it like he wasn’t discovering that Louis was as hard and needy as his own cock was, but like he’d figured the answer to a game. “Can-Should we do something about our predicament?”</p><p>He leaned against the doorframe, arms no longer covering what was tenting his jeans, showing it off rather, his confident persona back on. It made Louis swallow whatever was left in his dry mouth and nod his head twice. Harry raised an eyebrow, shaking his head a bit as if he didn’t understand, and fuck.</p><p>Louis wasn’t going to be let out easy. Harry wanted him to speak, use his words, be confident. And Louis would be a dead man if he didn’t try for him. </p><p>“I-I want to do something,” Louis squeaked. Harry smiled with pride, stalking closer slowly with his dimple popped in. He traced light fingers over Louis’ fringe, letting them run over his cheeks and to his chin. </p><p>“You’re so pretty,” Harry whispered, bumping their noses. It was close, close enough to hitch Louis’ breath and make his heart pound in his chest, but it wasn’t enough to release Louis. “What do you want to do?”</p><p>And at that, Louis wasn’t sure. He knew that he was in love with Harry—figured it out so long ago, but just admitted it now—and wanted to give him everything he’s got. But he just didn’t know how to do anything. </p><p>“Um—“</p><p>“Hey,” Harry interrupted softly, titling his head up to look him right in the eyes. His green eyes were piercing and honest, shining and dark all at once. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. I’m perfectly okay with anything, even if it means more or just watching another movie or driving you and Cliff home. At your pace, baby.”</p><p>And that was the little push Louis needed. </p><p>He trusted Harry with everything in him, knew that Harry was the kindest person he’d ever met. Harry wouldn't hurt him or laugh at him or make him uncomfortable. He wanted to keep Louis safe and protected, Louis was as sure of it as he was ice-shaking. </p><p>He pushed his body forward, more of a sway that resulted in a quick brush of their bodies together, but Harry bit his lip at it all the same. </p><p>“Can we, um, g-go, like, all the way?” </p><p>Harry smiled reassuringly, rubbing his thumb over Louis’ lip, and raised an eyebrow. “You sure?” </p><p>Louis’ never nodded faster in his life and before he could even speak, he was being tossed over Harry’s shoulder. His gasp turned into a giggle as Harry ran the short distance from the bathroom door to his huge bed. He was placed on the bed with a small drop, bouncing once and then twice when Harry hopped on right after. </p><p>Harry’s smile eased any worry and Louis knew that tonight was going to be one of the best nights of his life. Harry dived in for a kiss, tongue immediately pressing in faster than Louis could catch up. He rushed to let him in, touching at the broad expanse of Harry’s shoulders as Harry made work by touching his hips. </p><p>“I’ve wanted this since I first saw you,” Harry mumbled as they broke apart, voice low and lips wet. His voice was deep and controlled while Louis was breathless and jittery already. “You’re so beautiful, you know that? You don’t even know what you do to me in those pretty skate dresses you wear.”</p><p>Louis blushed and buried his nose in the curls on Harry’s head, losing himself in the wet and bruising kisses Harry trailed down his neck. It was overwhelming and Louis wanted more, needed more of the warmth Harry’s plump lips blossomed on his skin. He gasped out Harry’s name when Harry gently nibbled on the juncture of his neck and shoulder, the smaller body twitching against the heavy weight of Harry’s body sinking him into the mattress. </p><p>“Let’s take this off, alright love?” Harry parted their bodies to loom over him, hands gripping at the ends of his shirt and Louis’, not moving, waiting for direction. He was kneeling on the bed, mattress dripping with the weight of his knees, and Louis was left propped on his own elbows. </p><p>“Please,” Louis surprised himself by tugging at Harry’s shirt, helping him in taking it off before they removed Louis’ together. He reached out a timid hand to touch the beauty of Harry’s body, index finger tracing over the lines of muscle and lines of dark tattoos. </p><p>Harry watched him with dark eyes, letting Louis explore without rushing or pushing. He was letting Louis do what he wanted and Louis understood it, didn’t need words to know that he was free to do what he pleased. </p><p>Harry’s body was gorgeous, thick with evidence of hard work and light with the lack of sunshine in London. The room was dimly lit, only the soft yellow bulb of a lamp illuminating the room. The shadows made Harry look bigger, stronger, much more powerful than Louis’ own body. It was a contrast that made desire stir inside Louis boldly, knowing that Harry could physically take care of him as well as emotionally. </p><p>He let his fingers run past the four nipples, smiling softly as he lightly touched all of them like he was connecting the dots, watched them harden under the coldness of his fingertips, and down to the hair of the flat breadth of Harry’s lower stomach. Louis gulped when he realized where the path of his happy trail led to. He looked up to Harry, who was still observing him with a watchful gaze. </p><p>“C-Can I?” Louis whispered his question, could feel himself almost pout with how much he wanted to make Harry feel good. </p><p>Harry grasped his fingers with a big hand, pulling them to his bent head to kiss the tips of them sweetly. </p><p>“If you really want to, you don’t have to, baby.”</p><p>“B-But I want to,” Louis frowned. “Please, Harry, please.”</p><p>Harry huffed out a laugh and pet his hair. “I’m not going to deny you anything, love. But I wanna do something for you, too.”</p><p>At Louis’ confused look, he kissed him softly into the mattress, using a hand to rub over Louis’ nipples. His hand was big enough that it covered the entire expanse of Louis’ pec, groping firmly and putting just enough pressure to make Louis’ legs twitch closed. He gasped, eyes widening and breaking the kiss with the shock of how good that felt. Harry smirked at him, watching as he rubbed a calloused thumb over the little nub again and again, torturous circles that had Louis begging for more. </p><p>When Harry asked to remove their pants, leaving them naked, Louis had never felt more ready for anything in his life. </p><p>“Baby,” Harry interrupted before Louis could get a look at anything. “Can we try something? Before we have sex?”</p><p>“Um, what is it?” Louis didn’t really know anything about sex, had kissed a few people here and there, but nothing more. He knew that Harry would make him feel good. </p><p>Harry smiled, rubbing at his ear, pressing soft kisses into Louis’ belly. “I love your tummy, baby. So soft and sweet. Wanna sleep here.”</p><p>It made Louis giggle, especially when he blew a raspberry, and it was the kind of cute moment that fit perfectly well into the sultry moment they were having. </p><p>“I want you to sit on my face,” He said, chin on Louis’ belly as he looked up with shining eyes. He said it so casually, which only served to make it seem so much dirtier to Louis. He was experienced, it was obvious in his confidence and how attractive he was, but it was still the hottest thing Louis thought about. “You can blow me if you want, but I mainly want you to feel good.”</p><p>God, he loved Harry. </p><p>“I-I’ve never done anything like that before, won’t I crush you?” Louis was worried and it didn’t help when Harry’s laugh was poorly disguised by a cough. </p><p>“You won’t crush me, love, you’re too small. And we don’t have to do it. But I really, really want my tongue on you. And I’d be very honored if you allowed me to be the first to eat you out,” Harry said earnestly. He blinked a few times, an easy smile accompanied with an amazing massage into Louis’ thigh. His hand was big enough to practically cover all of it and his hockey stick blisters scratched at Louis in an oddly attractive way, and maybe Louis had a thing for Harry’s hands. </p><p>Louis was the color of red and he tried to hide behind his hands, but Harry wasn’t allowing it. </p><p>“Dove, we don’t have to do it,” He reminded, voice carrying like a song. </p><p>“I-I just,” Louis frowned. “I’m such a bloody virgin.”</p><p>Harry’s jaw dropped and he seemed frozen for a moment. </p><p>“It’s embarrassing. I’ve never done anything like this before and I don’t want to disappoint.”</p><p>Harry was frozen for a few more moments before he came up to nuzzle into Louis’ neck comfortingly. He kissed him gently, pecking over the swift love bites on the column of his neck, distracting Louis and only turning him on more. </p><p>“My sweet Louis. You’re absolutely perfect,” Harry insisted with a soft laugh. “You can’t ever disappoint me, darling. You got me hard just by brushing my leg. Thank you for trusting me to take care of you and for letting me see your body. I want to make you feel good and I want to take care of you the way you deserve. Will you let me?”</p><p>Louis nodded, willing himself not to get emotional over how caring Harry was. He was a gift sent from heaven. </p><p>Harry thanked him with a kiss, moving to lay down and leaving Louis sitting beside him. This time, Louis was able to see Harry’s cock and it made his mouth water with a need he’s never experienced. </p><p>It was huge, big enough that Louis was concerned it wouldn’t fit inside him. He was small, from his body to his own cock, especially compared to the size of Harry. He didn’t mind it at all, didn’t feel embarrassed or that he lacked anything. He felt beautiful, especially with the way Harry ran his hands over his body with awed touches and eyed him down like he was a treasure. </p><p>“Come on love, up you go,” Harry said, patting at his hips. He let Harry guide him in the correct position, his bum hovering over Harry’s face. It was nerve-wracking, being left so vulnerable in a way that no one has ever seen before, but it felt special. “You’re so gorgeous, baby. Love your body, it’s so perfect. So fucking curvy, Louis, God, I wanna play with it all day.”</p><p>Louis had his eyes closed, concentrating on the movements of Harry’s hands over his waist, down his back, over the cheeks of his bum. It felt good, relaxing and pleasuring all at once. </p><p>“Would you let me? Let me treat you right, make you cum over and over again, huh, Louis?” </p><p>“Please, please, Harry, I-I—“</p><p>He couldn’t finish whatever he was mumbling out because Harry leaned in close, nose bumping right into the top of Louis’ crack, breath warming his sensitive hole. He dove in, pressing a soft kiss to his hole before dipping his tongue out to trace it. It felt good, good, good, good, better than anything Louis’ ever tried on himself. </p><p>“Harry!” Louis gasped, body shuddering as Harry continued lapping at his hole, pressing in before teasing around the rim. His ringed hands were holding onto the globes of Louis’ ass, keeping him open enough for him to continue licking him. “Oh my God, Harry, f-uck.”</p><p>Harry hummed and it sent vibrations tingling up Louis’ body, sharp and gentle all at once, and Louis blindly reached for Harry’s hand. Harry intertwined them easily, but didn’t let up at his pace, fucking his tongue with quick flicks and grating circles. He couldn’t stop himself from toppling over, landing on the soft nest of hair Harry had on his pelvis. Louis used his free hand to twist his fingers at the base gingerly, eyes following the trail to Harry’s cock. </p><p>It was standing fully hard, big and red and veiny, and entirely intimidating. But Louis didn’t think it was fair that Harry was making him feel so good, making him spacey and floaty, and he wasn’t getting anything in return. He wanted to make Harry feel good too, wanted to give him his best effort even if he didn’t exactly know how. </p><p>He knew his hands would be too dry and he didn’t want to let go of Harry’s hand, either. Really, Louis knew what he should do and really, he wanted to do it. Really, really wanted to do it. So he rushed forward, little tongue darting out to kitten lick at the head of Harry’s cock. It was salty and warm and just a little musky but Louis liked it. Really liked it. </p><p>“Fuck!” Harry exclaimed in surprise, removing his mouth from Louis’ hole and tensing the muscles in his strong thighs. “Holy shit, Louis.” </p><p>The boy was a bit upset that he wasn’t getting Harry’s tongue anymore, but it made up for the deep groans Harry let out with every lick. </p><p>“It’s on, baby,” Harry grunted, diving back into Louis’ hole. At first, he wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but then Harry started eating him out and fucking his tongue in at a much more rigorous pace, making Louis pause in his movements. </p><p>Harry was competing with him, sillily enough, pushing to please Louis more than Louis was him, and it was a challenge that Louis was determined to try his best at. He grew bolder, widening his mouth to take in Harry’s cock slowly. He didn’t know what to do, hadn't ever watched porn, but he tried to guess what felt good and whenever he brushed his tongue against the vein on the underside, he was rewarded with praise. </p><p>“Baby, baby, baby, you’re doing so good, love. Fuck, fuck, can I put my fingers in you now?” Harry groaned, thumbing over his hole with his big calloused finger. Louis tried to say yes, but his voice was shot, raspy from taking Harry in his mouth. </p><p>He couldn’t fit it all in, could only slurp just passed the head, but it pleased Harry all the same and he understood Louis’ garbled acceptance anyways. He heard Harry cap open a bottle and felt him shift to reach for it, but he really liked holding Harry in his mouth. He was a heavy and warm weight, just like the rest of him, and he tasted good. Louis wanted to suck his dick more often, wanted to eventually get further and further down until he could take him in fully. </p><p>When Harry fingered him, Louis almost passed out. It felt good, he was sensitive and he’d never been touched there by anyone else before. Harry prodded at areas and stretched him out in ways that he’d never been able to. It was amazing and Louis could feel his belly tightening with each twirl of Harry’s ring and middle finger. </p><p>Harry placed Louis on his back, sent small kisses as he hovered over him. He took a moment to smile at him, wiggling his fingers and crooking them just right, and Louis gasped, eyes watering. </p><p>“Please, Harry, please,” he cried out, grappling into whatever he could reach, the bedsheets, Harry’s arm. </p><p>“Taking my fingers so well, baby,” Harry mumbled into his neck. “Feel so tight, gonna be stretched so good around my cock, little one. You want me to play with you some more or do you think you’re ready?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Louis slurred, wanting nothing more than to finally feel Harry and show him how much he trusted him. He was ready, everything felt so good already and he wanted it. “Please, can we?”</p><p>Harry continued to smile down at him, removing his fingers and leaning in for a soft kiss on the lips. It was sweet and gentle, the softest distraction while Harry reached over in his bedside table for the foil packet. At the crackling noise of the condom wrapper being torn open, everything became so much more real to Louis. He was actually going to do this, he was going to have sex with Harry, something he’d dreamed about for so long. </p><p>And he wasn’t nervous, like he’d been expecting to be. He was a little worried about Harry’s humongous cock tearing him open, sure, but he felt safe. He was going to be taken good care of, he was sure of it. </p><p>“Thank you for trusting me, little one,” Harry said as he rolled the condom on his cock. “Thank you for being so good to me, for making me smile and being so sweet to me. Thank you for letting me do this for you.”</p><p>It made Louis’ heart stutter and his eyes brim with tears, reaching out to tangle their fingers together just seconds before Harry pushed in, condom and dick wet with lube. And truthfully, it hurt, but Louis knew that. It burned and hurt and it was painful and his face scrunched up as his body stretched to get used to the intrusion. Harry kissed him quiet, squeezing their hands and whispering calm little praises until Louis felt like he could breathe again. </p><p>“You okay, baby?” Harry voiced out his concern and Louis nodded, eyes still squeezed shut to allow his body to relax. “Take your time, darling, you’re doing so good. Feel so good around me.”</p><p>It took him just a moment more of stillness, just to familiarize himself with the stretch and with the reality of Harry and him actually having sex. </p><p>“Um, can you––you can keep going,” Louis whispered to him, lips mumbled against Harry’s own that were still pressed up against him. Harry hummed, releasing one of his hands to place it on Louis’ thigh, squeezing and hiking up on his hip. </p><p>He started his thrusts out slow, testing the waters, and even the lazy thrusts had Louis wheezing out a squeak. The pain was dulling and now, all he could focus on was the drag of Harry’s cock sliding against his walls. It was teasing and Louis was going to beg for Harry to go faster when Harry gave one hard push, almost pulling out before pressing back in roughly. </p><p>It punched the breath out of Louis, forcing his eyes open and straight into Harry’s dark green eyes. He hit his prostate perfectly, sending Louis’ body into a spasm of shockwaves. He was shaking, tears falling down his cheeks, mouth in a little ‘O’ shape as Harry created an unrelenting pace. </p><p>“H-Harry, uh, H-Harry,” Louis moaned out, small cock bouncing with every powerful thrust, slapping at his tummy as he was jostled around by the pressure of Harry’s body. He wasn’t going to last very long and he couldn’t find it in him to be embarrassed. </p><p>Louis was red with the overwhelming sensations thrumming through his body as Harry slows inches forward to connect them once again. He’s hit with everything much more intensely this time; the prickling pain, the silky pleasure, the love he has for Harry, the need for more, the pain again. It’s all too much and he wants to moan loudly and cry at the same time, so he does, voice coming out gargled and his arms covering to hide his wet eyes. </p><p>Harry coos at him from above, big hand wrapping around Louis’ wrist to pepper gentle kisses on his face, from his sweaty temple to his wet eyes to his nose and to his chin. He twists their fingers together again and stretches them out beside their bodies, coming closer to trail his lips down and bury himself in Louis’ neck. </p><p>“Sh, baby, are you okay?” </p><p>Louis’ voice is wet as he says “Yeah, yeah,” garbled and choked off. </p><p>“You feel so amazing, my love. Can’t believe you’re mine, I love you,” and Harry slowly pumps his hips again, just softly moving and grinding against Louis’ heat and Louis twitches as he gasps.</p><p>“Love your pretty little body, Lou,” Harry grunted, groaning with every piston of his hips. “Love your pretty dresses, God, think about you in them all the time. Your arse, your hips, your fucking legs are all so perfect and they’re all mine to worship, aren’t they?”</p><p>He shoved his cock in with every word, emphasizing that he was the one inside Louis, the only one ever. Louis whimpered at the realization of belonging to Harry. Louis was his, his to do whatever he wanted and Louis was perfectly content with it. He nodded rapidly, chest heaving as he tried to hide his face and all the overwhelming expressions coming over him as he drew closer to his orgasm. </p><p>“I-I am yours, I-I think I’m gonna cum,” Louis sobbed, eyes screwed shut as he buried his face in his shoulder. His poor cock was drooling all over his tummy, twitching with all the tingling sensations Harry was sending over his body. </p><p>Harry tutted his lips, pointing Louis’ face back to look up at his. “You just said you’re mine and I’d like to see my pretty boy make a mess all over himself. Are you gonna do it for me? Make a mess all over your pretty tummy so I can clean it all up?” </p><p>It was humiliating and vulnerable, and yet so, so good. Harry kept up at his pace, probably going even faster, and he used his free hand to brush a finger right against Louis’ cock. It was a quick swipe, gentle and just a ghost of a stroke, but it was just enough for Louis to let his arousal take over him entirely. His eyes blurred as black dots clouded his vision, body convulsing and burning as he released all over himself, soft moans turning into cute little hums as he relaxed back into the bed. </p><p>He felt tingly and spacey, floating around in a boneless state of matter that had him smiling in satisfaction. When he was able to open his eyes, he just got the last glimpses of Harry’s bare cock sliding over the pool on Louis’ belly, painting it with his own streaks of white ribbons. Louis wished he could’ve seen it, but he knew there was always next time. </p><p>He giggled, startling Harry, at the mere giddiness he felt over the idea of a next time. Harry smiled at him gently, calm with his movements as he settled beside him. He stretched for something to wipe Louis off, rolling the old shirt against him carefully. Louis was starting to feel his toes, wiggled them against Harry’s shins when Harry snuggled them close. </p><p>“How was that, baby?” Harry pecked Louis’ fringe, keeping him tucked safely under his chin and keeping his arms wrapped around his shoulder and waist. The sheets were pulled over them and Louis could feel exhaustion seep into his bones. </p><p>“Perfect,” Louis whispered. He pressed in closer, lips coming to rest between Harry’s collarbones. He smelled like sweat and vanilla and Louis inhaled as much as he could in one go. </p><p>“Our first time and we 69’d, I’d say that’s pretty impressive and near damn perfect also,” Harry teased and Louis giggled into Harry’s bicep. </p><p>“Up for round two tomorrow morning?” He asked cheekily, rocking their bodies playfully to make Louis laugh. The movement made Louis’ breath hitch, his lower half burning with a sharp pain. </p><p>“Jesus, Harry,” Louis hissed, wincing as the pain subsided. “I’m bloody sore. You’re not coming near me for a week. Ouch, how am I supposed to skate tomorrow?”</p><p>Harry frowned. “Baby, you practiced today. And the day before that. You should rest up, your next competition isn’t for months anyways.”</p><p>“I still gotta practice,” Louis sighed, tracing over the birds on Harry’s chest. They were pretty birds, frozen and flying with each other forever in the safe place below Harry’s collarbones. Louis loved them. </p><p>“Don’t overwork yourself, baby. Gonna get hurt that way.” He sounded worried, concern etching his tone. </p><p>“Won’t,” Louis sighed, stretching his leg slowly. His body was forever sore and in pain because he was an athlete and athletes gave their bodies to their art. That’s what athletic tape and stretching and massages and hot-cold showers were for. “I’m used to it. Love to skate.”</p><p>It was quiet for a moment and Louis was starting to drop into sleepiness. “Stay in with me tomorrow,” Harry begged, dropping the conversation and whining like a toddler. He snuggled into Louis further, like a teddy bear, as if that was enough to convince him. </p><p>It was, but Louis still put up a little fight. Harry got up to open up the door for Clifford, who immediately jumped into the bed and laid with them over the sheets. </p><p>He fell asleep listening to Harry’s deep voice, losing himself in pillow talk and vanilla and happiness. And in the morning, he woke up to breakfast in bed and a beautiful man with a perfect dimple and a cute dog trying to steal his bacon and tea. </p><p> </p><p>-x-</p><p>It was Harry’s idea, really. </p><p>He’d barged into the end of Louis’ practice, hooting and hollering while balancing three cups of something hot in his hands. Hua and Maksim were a little less than impressed and Harry knew to apologize sheepishly when they shot him a few looks. He sat on the bleachers with his head in his hand on top of his knee and didn’t look any bit bored while watching Louis, even when he was just stretching over the ice and doing nothing extraordinary. </p><p>He insisted Louis go on and change out of his dress after kissing him hello and complimenting him again. He didn’t seem all that intimidated or frightened to be left with a scary Russian man and a stoic Chinese woman like Louis had been when he’d first met them. When he changed, Hua and Maksim were sipping on the drink Harry had given them and were laughing with him like they were old friends. It was strange how easy they’d opened up to him, but it was heartwarming nonetheless. </p><p>“I’m not sure, Harry,” Louis started, frowning up at him as they walked side by side to Harry’s Range Rover. “Don’t you want to spend time with just him? And doesn’t he want the same? I can’t imagine visiting a friend and then being stuck with his boyfriend all day.”</p><p>Harry guffawed as if personally offended. “I spent the week with the chap, we’re already sick of each other. I just want to spend the day with my two favorite people. Please Louis.”</p><p>He was pouting and Louis wouldn’t be able to say no as much as he wanted to. </p><p>He hadn’t met new people in so long, was always surrounded by the same people and always did the same thing. Harry was as big of an interruption as he’d allowed and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for more. He hadn’t even been out for anything more than the necessities. He doesn’t know how to socialize without overthinking or to speak up instead of letting himself fade into the background. He was going to make a fool of himself in front of Harry and his best friend. </p><p>Mitch was nice and he didn’t say much, so he and Louis had this common. Harry steered the conversation entirely, babbling off about so many things as they all sat in the little corner of a random pub. It was starting to get later and the crowds were starting to roll in, but the nice little nook they’ve settled into was away from all the noise of people that made Louis nervous. </p><p>Mitch was funny, his humor dry and his voice low. He hummed every now and then or said something to make Harry cackle and Louis giggle quietly. He was nice, really, and he’d send quick smirks over his pint to Louis when he was teasing Harry. </p><p>Harry was sweet, always whispering into Louis’ ear every once in a while or giving him pecks. He included Louis in as often as he needed to when Louis would quiet down and Mitch, to his credit, included him too on the few moments he did say something. Harry’s arm never unwrapped from Louis’ shoulder, crowding him into the booth and making him feel safe and protected from the bumble of the pub. </p><p>Harry’s phone interrupted a story he was telling about their first year of college and he winced when he told them it was the Kings’ general manager. He promised he’d be back quick and with another round of pints for him and Mitch and a tea for Louis. He kissed Louis and then disappeared somewhere. </p><p>The silence that settled between him and Mitch sizzled on Louis’ skin. It was unnerving and awkward and he could hear the doubting thoughts start to march their way into his head. Mitch seemed content in the quiet, not at all awkward, didn’t really seem like the guy bothered by a moment of nothing. </p><p>He took a sip of his pint as Louis twiddled his fingers, searching for something to say that would make him seem any better than the loser he was, but Mitch beat him to it. </p><p>“Harry’s something else, isn't he?” </p><p>It made Louis jump even though his voice wasn’t loud at all. Louis willed himself not to do or say anything embarrassing and prayed his voice didn’t crack. And was this a trick question?</p><p>Louis was going to stutter out something but Mitch saved him again. </p><p>“I’m happy you’re with him, Louis,” He said, voice earnest and nothing like the monotone sound it was earlier. “He’s happy. He’s always been happy, but he was also always moping and he wanted to settle down so badly. He’s over the moon for you, you know. He loves you more than anything I’ve ever seen. He’s been in love with you since he was like, ten.”</p><p>Mitch laughs over his pint like it was old news and he glanced around at the telly’s hanging over the bar top, but Louis was too intrigued with what he’d said. </p><p>“W-what?”</p><p>He laughed again and it was such an odd laugh coming from someone as stoic as Mitch that it garnered one from Louis, too. “Yeah, you’re his childhood crush. He’s always been obsessed with you. In college, one of our ice-breakers was something like, ‘Who was our celebrity crush?’ and he said you and we’re Americans, we’re idiots. We don’t know anything about anything that isn’t American, so everyone was confused and he took like ten minutes explaining who you were and shit. He’s in love with you.”</p><p>Louis giggled, blushing at the idea that Harry had found him attractive even then. </p><p>“Pretty sure one of the guys caught him moaning your name in his sleep once,” Mitch chuckled out of the side of his mouth. “I’m surprised you didn’t know this. Everyone knows this. His team’s gonna be super fucking shocked when he brings you around. Hell, his family is gonna be super fucking shocked. No one believes him and he refuses to share any of your guys’ photos on social media, so. He’s in for a treat. You, too. Everyone has stories about him fawning over you.”</p><p>Talking to Mitch was easier after that. They shared silly stories about Harry and Mitch wasn't shocked to find that Louis had a number of them even in the few months they’d known each other. Harry came back looking extremely pleased and Louis blushed when he saw how happy and proud Harry looked to see him and Mitch chatting. He’d even pouted when they’d got carried away with conversation and he couldn’t say anything. </p><p>They parted ways with Mitch after a few more hours. Mitch headed to Harry’s flat where he’d been staying and Harry told him he might not be back until late. Mitch shot Louis a sly wink that had him turn beet red and waved them off. </p><p>Harry was alright to drive, since he was bigger it took more than a million pints to get him drunk, he’d explained. Louis just played with their interlaced fingers on the way home, smiling softly to himself with the newfound information swimming in his head. </p><p>Clifford was happy to see Harry and they’d jumped on the couch together, leaving Louis behind. He didn’t mind it one bit. </p><p>“So,” Louis started, fingers twisting in Harry’s curls and snuggling his face into the soft fabric of Harry’s jumper. “I was your childhood crush.”</p><p>Harry tensed, pushing away with a frowny face and pink on his cheeks. “Did Mitch tell you that? God, I’m kicking him out of my flat. What else did he tell you?”</p><p>Louis giggled, falling into the couch as Harry groaned and pouted. He was moping on the other side with his arms crossed, ignoring Louis’ feet that he’d pushed into his lap. </p><p>“Just some things. Is there anything else you’d like to share?” </p><p>Harry glared at Louis, pinching his foot when Louis moved it in slow circles in his lap as his angry face let up. It was teasing and it was an obvious attempt at seducing him, with his toes wiggling around to find the soft bulge in Harry’s pants. Harry bit his lip, watching Louis before watching his lap before watching Louis again. He didn’t say anything, but Louis knew he was trying to keep up his upset act. </p><p>“Tell me, Harry. Come on, I wanna know,” Louis whined, stretching his arms over his head. His hoodie came up, exposing his tummy and Harry’s eyes tracked the movements like a hawk. </p><p>Harry narrowed his eyes at him, hand finally coming to rest on Louis’ ankle, not to stop him, but to enable him. “I’m not telling you about anything and I seriously can’t believe you’re enjoying this.”</p><p>Louis giggled, never ceasing his actions. He didn’t understand where any of this was coming from, but he felt good. He felt powerful and unstoppable and beautiful and sexy, especially when he pressed down particularly hard and Harry groaned, tossing his head back and grinding back into his heel. </p><p>“I can’t believe you’re holding my childhood adoration against me, against my cock!” Harry cried, pulling Louis’ foot off his lap and hovering it in the air. Louis slid down with a laugh, smiling up at him with a twinkle in his eyes that Harry smiled back at. “I can’t believe it’s working. I could definitely cum from just your foot right now. You’re a minx, Louis Tomlinson, an absolute minx.”</p><p>He leaned in for a kiss, pressing his body down into the couch to pile on top of Louis. It was bruising, fast and full of messy tongues and wandering hands. His hands grabbed at Louis’ neck, straightening him against the couch before diving back into his mouth. His hands trailed down to Louis’ tummy, stroking it before grabbing at his arse and lifting him closer. </p><p>It startled Louis, his mouth opened in a gasp and Harry used that to get even further into Louis’ mouth. He squeezed at all of the soft meat on Louis’ body, hands dipping in under the waistband of Louis’ leggings. </p><p>“Lou,” Harry panted, breaking their kiss. Louis’ hands were tangled in his curls and he yanked them to get more of what Harry’s lips were offering. “Louis, can we—“</p><p>“Can you fuck me please?” Louis begged, grinding onto Harry’s lap desperately. The friction was tickling and it was something, but it wasn’t enough. </p><p>“Fuck, I love you. You asked so nicely,” Harry groaned and kissed him again, guiding Louis’ hips in shapes over his growing bulge.</p><p>Louis was reaching down to unbutton Harry’s trousers when Clifford barked, scaring both of them. Harry tightened his arms around Louis’ hips immediately as if Cliff was some sort of threat. He was wagging his tail and barking and he looked like he wanted to play. Louis groaned in annoyance and Harry huffed out a breath of air. They shared a look and Harry kissed Louis softly. </p><p>“I’ll go grab him a bone, you go to bed.”</p><p>He patted at Louis’ hip twice to get him off and Louis made it to the bedroom on wobbly legs. He’d never felt needier in his life, but he’d also never felt the rush of butterflies or pleasure he felt with Harry either. </p><p>He settled into the sheets, waited patiently for Harry to return, and when he did, Harry whispered all sorts of dirty things to Louis as he instructed him on how to ride his cock. It was new and exciting and he’d praised Louis’ body on end, even releasing before Louis did because he was so caught up in his arousal. He was disappointed but Louis loved it, loved that he was able to do so good that Harry couldn’t control himself. </p><p>He found that he liked riding Harry and he was definitely going to do it again and again and again. And maybe he had a thing for big hands and dirty talk and Harry worshipping his body like he always did. And maybe he wasn’t as vanilla in the bedroom as he always thought he might be. </p><p>Either way, he had Harry and Harry gave him everything he wanted. He was spoiled in every sense of the word. </p><p>-x-</p><p>“Louis,” Hua spoke out, stern in her voice and posture. “Why are there still boxes unpacked?” </p><p>The boy sighed, sinking into the couch and letting Clifford rest his heavy head on his lap. He focused on burying his cotton socked foot into the cream colored rug while she moved a few of the boxes around in an attempt to organize.</p><p>“Did you label any of the boxes?” She asked as she peeked inside the dusty one that was by the dining table. He shook his head, rubbing at his temple in preparation for the argument that was going to roll over soon.</p><p>June was humming quietly as she was fixing something up in the kitchen, pausing only briefly to send Louis a look. </p><p>“When were you going to clean this place up?” Maksim had his arms crossed over his chest and Louis sensed the strict parent roll they all liked to take on building. </p><p>“This weekend,” He lied, twisting his fingers into the tight coils of curls in Cliff’s fur. </p><p>Someone scoffed, or maybe all of them, but he was too consumed with his own shame to pay any mind to what they might say next. He knew they weren’t purposely being mean and he knew that he was difficult and pathetic and their patience could only hold over for so many years before running out, but he still didn’t want to hear it.</p><p>He knew it’s been months since he’s made the move here and there’s no reason why he should still have it bare, boxes shoved in corners that were full of the decorations that were meant to fill his apartment. To make it his home, to make it feel a little less empty. </p><p>But they were still collecting dust and he was still avoiding opening up anything that would hold memories of when he still had his mother. He tried, he really did, but opening up her sewing kit was traumatizing enough for him and Clifford, who whimpered in his neck with each sob that had punched out his breath. </p><p>Hua and Maksim were bickering over something, maybe on what to do with the boxes, when his phone buzzed him away from his thoughts.</p><p>I’m so peas-ed to be making dinner for you ;) along with a picture of a pot of steamy peas that were on his kitchen counter. </p><p>Louis burst into giggles at the sudden distraction. </p><p>Oh, Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry. </p><p>They’d been in each others’ pockets for the entirety of five months it seems, always texting or calling or at Harry’s apartment or at the ice rink or a tea-shop or on whatever impromptu adventure Harry brings him along for. They went grocery shopping recently, where Harry forced Louis to pick out the foods he liked so they could have it for dinner today. With peas, of course. </p><p>It was so wonderful, every minute spent with the other man, who actually learned how to land a single axel-jump without wobbling his arms out. He’d picked out the colors of a few skate uniforms for Louis with Hua and Maksim, already having charmed them, insisting that the blue and the red and the green shades he chose would look beautiful on Louis. And who was Louis to deny what Harry thought?</p><p>They said “I love you” at the drop of the hat, didn’t even remember the first time they said it or who had said it, but once the barrier was broken, all hell broke loose. Louis had met Harry’s friends and after getting over the initial shock of meeting someone who’d broken world records, they adopted Louis as one of their own—especially Liam and Niall. They’d added him to the group chat and everything and when Louis asked Harry if he was okay with all of it, Harry beamed at him with pride and a big yes. </p><p>He’d met Gemma and Harry’s nephew, immediately becoming close to little James. Harry was only a bit jealous because James discarded Harry like an old toy, listened to Louis more, and was put to sleep quickly by Louis. James loved Clifford, too, and together, they created little disasters all over Harry’s apartment, but it was easily the cutest thing they’d ever seen. </p><p>Gemma, like Harry’s friends, was a bit starstruck meeting Louis, blushing a bit before composing herself. And then, she became Louis’ favorite Styles. She immediately told Louis about Harry’s obsession with him growing up, told him all about Harry’s fangirl tendencies and other juicy secrets that had Louis giggling, but flattered. Harry was upset, crossed his arms and tried to start a fight with her like they were little kids, and when Gemma punched him, he ran to his phone to tell their mum. </p><p>He liked Gemma and she liked him, too, texting him constantly about things they had in common. They even read the same books, throwing out recommendations that Louis would read to Harry before bed. He slept over Harry’s more often than not and everything was all domestic. </p><p> </p><p>They’d been having alot more sex, too. They’d tried a ton of new positions and Louis learned a lot more. He was getting better at blowjobs and bolder with his body, teasing and riling Harry up like it was second nature. It was fun and wonderful and exciting and Louis’ never been happier. </p><p>Harry had been gone the past week for a quick trip back to Los Angeles and he tried to keep himself busy by skating more often and for longer hours, but he still missed him. </p><p>“Louis, does Harry know that you’re depressed?”</p><p>He doesn’t know who said it, doesn’t think it really matters. The words hurt, stabbed him like a knife that was twisted and twisted and twisted right into his heart, because they weren’t true. They couldn’t be. He was happy, Harry made him happy, and Louis was fine. </p><p>“I am not depressed,” Louis seethed, face burning in anger. He clutched at Clifford’s fur a little tighter, gripped his phone like it might distract him from the glares being sent his way. </p><p>Hua was the first to speak up, sighing like she was as tired of this conversation as he was. But if she was, she would drop it. “Louis—“</p><p>“No!” Louis stood up, stance defensive like he was ready for a fight. Hua and Maksim sent each other those stupid looks that they always did, secret conversations that Louis loathed, and June stopped what she was doing in the kitchen to peer at him from over her glasses. “I am fine and I’m sick of you guys trying to say that I’m not. I’m not depressed. I haven’t unpacked because I haven’t gotten around to it, not because I’m some sad child who needs your tending!”</p><p>They sent him worried glances that quickly turned into matching angry ones. </p><p>Maksim shook his head furiously, wiggling his finger at Louis. </p><p>“Louis, stop pretending that all is fine and butterflies when you’re hurting yourself more and more everyday. You don’t go out ever, you don’t have friends, all you do is skate. You skate practically everyday and you work yourself to the bone. Your body can only take so much before it’s done. You’ve lived here for how long now and you still have yet to unpack any of your things. You’re not living a life that normal people your age do––”</p><p>“I haven’t had a normal life!” Louis practically shouted, one second away from stamping his foot. “I didn’t go to school with other kids, I was competing for my country before I’d even gone through puberty, my entire life was put on display for whoever wanted to see it! I never had the opportunity to make friends, I only have you three. Skating is what makes me sane, the only thing I’m good at, and if you all think for one second that I am pushing myself too hard, then you’re not the same coaches I’ve grown up listening to because you always pushed me to do better. I have a wonderful boyfriend and I love him. What more could you possibly want from me?”</p><p>“To stop relying on other people to remove you from your sadness! Harry is great and we’re so happy that you’re happy, but you’re only happy with him. Do you honestly think that’s healthy, that the minute he’s gone, you go back to bed and only come out to go to the rink? Because it’s not, Louis. You cannot depend on him to make you happy. You have to be happy on your own. You can’t keep mourning. Think about Jay—“</p><p>“Keep my mother’s name from your mouth,” Louis hissed, seething with blood boiling in his veins. “I’m fine and I’m not having this conversation with any of you again—“</p><p>Hua crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s your problem, Louis. You don’t ever want to talk about how you feel with anyone. We aren’t pushing you to tell us all of your secrets, we just want you to tell someone. A professional who can help you process what you went through. Losing someone as special as your mother hurts and you’re incredibly strong for that, but you don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time. It’s okay to seek help, Louis, and it’s okay to mourn…”</p><p>He knew he was crying, but he didn’t register the moment he had a panic attack. He didn’t recognize the numbing tingling on the sides of his face that eventually traveled to his entire body, didn’t realize that his ears were suddenly stuffed with imaginary cotton, didn’t feel his throat clogging up like he was suffocating. He wasn’t a stranger to violent attacks like this, had been through them alone or with Clifford or with Hua and Maksim and June and his mother. </p><p>His heart was hurting and he had collapsed to his knees before he could catch himself. His sobs sounded distant and he knew that he was shaking, vaguely understood that Clifford was licking and whining at him. He knew that the others were bustling around him in a frenzy, trying to squeeze him back to life, and he knew who he needed, knew that he was just proving their point. </p><p>“H-Harry,” he whined, barely understandable through his cries. He prayed they knew what to do, prayed they got him here before Louis got any worse, before Louis fell into the deep pit that he would be stuck in until he passed out. </p><p>He couldn’t tell the time, didn’t know the difference between hours and seconds and days. He felt supportive touches here and there, but they weren’t the ones that he wanted. </p><p>It came eventually, big calloused hands wrapping him up in the safety net of vanilla, soft cotton sweater rubbing against his cheek. His knight in shining armor, his beautiful and perfect hockey star. He was moved into his lap at some point, being rocked and sang to like a child, soothing touches and careful whispers. </p><p>And eventually, Louis’ sobs turned into hiccups and sniffles and then he was able to open his eyes and start to hear a little more clearly. He could see that they were still on the floor and see a bag of food on his little center table that wasn’t there before. He could see Harry petting Clifford just as soothingly as he was Louis, the dog cuddled up by their overlapping legs. </p><p>He could feel a thick jacket around him and a discarded ice pack on the ground. Harry stared at him cautiously, waiting for Louis to make the first move once he’d sat up a little straighter. Louis didn’t do much at first, couldn’t get rid of the sad frown he was wearing so easily, just stared at Harry with sad blank puppy eyes. Harry rubbed over his cheek with his thumb, tracing the dried tear tracks and the puffiness under Louis’ eyes. He was always such an ugly crier. </p><p>After some time, Harry stood them up, carrying all of Louis’ dead weight easily and tending to Clifford, who was still moping over the state of his Louis. He led them to the kitchen, attempting to set Louis down on the table, but giving in and carrying him once Louis whined and held on tighter, refusing to lose him now. </p><p>He searched the kitchen and all the cupboards until he found the tea and the cups and got to work quickly. He moved silently, only cooing at Clifford when he found his treats and fed him one, working in the quiet that Louis often found himself in. It was nice, the little bit of noise. It wasn’t so lonely, Louis realized. </p><p>Harry fed him sips of tea, letting the warm liquid slide down his throat and soothe the soreness. He still kept his eyes down, swinging his stiff legs against the cabinets beneath the kitchen island he was propped up on, and Harry rubbed his back. </p><p>“Harry,” Louis rasped out when he finished the tea, nervous fingers thrumming against the marble top. </p><p>“Yeah, baby?” Harry responded, tucking a stray piece of fringe behind Louis' ear. His eyes were magnificently green, deep and caring and concerned. They were stressed, just a little thread of black circling his green orbs, and Louis reached out to poke his nose. </p><p>“Do you think something’s wrong with me?” He asked sadly. </p><p>Harry inhaled a deep breath through his nose, letting the words hand in the air for a moment. He looked thoughtful as he tilted his head, trapped between the open space of Louis’ legs. Even with Louis propped on the counter, Harry was still taller and bigger. Louis found comfort in the littlest things like those details, like Harry’s sweats and mismatched socks and dirty white vans. </p><p>“Not at all, Lou. I think that there are some things I’ve observed that I think could be unhealthy, but it doesn’t matter what I think right now, does it? Do you think there’s something wrong with you?”</p><p>And dear God, Louis was going to cry again. </p><p>“I-I don’t know. Yes?” He laughed and felt like he was going crazy. “I just, I miss her so much, Harry.” </p><p>He didn’t trigger a panic attack, but he was back to sobbing and whimpering and Harry swooped him in his arms tightly, just like he needed. Harry shushed him and squeezed him and gave him soft kisses, but Louis didn’t stop there. </p><p>“She was the only person I had. I love Hua and Maksim and June, but they’re not me mum. She was the best person I knew, she was so kind. S-She taught me how to skate. A-And she held me when I was scared, believed in me and made me laugh and took care of me. She made all of my d-dresses and held my bunny so I-I could kiss it before my performances. And she was my best friend. And I skate so much b-because it's the only thing I’ve ever done with myself. A-and I don’t have friends, like Hua and Maksim said, because I’m too sad to leave my bed alone. I-I hate being alone, God, I hate it. I can’t even unpack the boxes because I still have some of her things and I can’t do it, Harry. I-I miss her so much, Harry, I-I—“</p><p>He couldn’t finish the blurb of thought he was spilling, words he hadn’t said out loud in years but that constantly float around in his head. It was like the words were screamed from his hoarse throat, no longer just the low whispers that haunt him.</p><p>Harry moved them to Louis’ bed, the soft fortress of solitude he’s made for himself with fluffy blankets and pretty string lights all around. They were always on to create a little glow in the room and it bounced off Harry wonderfully, just like the lamp in Harry’s bedroom. </p><p>“You look like an angel in this lighting, baby,” Harry whispered, beating Louis to any compliment he could attempt to rasp out. “My pretty dove, so soft and sweet.” </p><p>He settled them in, tucking Louis into the sheets before going in himself, sinking the bed and radiating burning heat. Harry just stared at him, whispered sweet little phrases at Louis barely heard over his tears, but eventually calmed him down again. </p><p>“Do you feel better, lovey?” </p><p>Louis did, sort of. Still had the pounding headache and puffy eyes and sniffles, but he felt safe again. </p><p>“Sorry that we had to be reunited like this,” Louis mumbled pathetically and Harry made a noise of disagreement right away. </p><p>“I’m always happy to see you and take care of you, you know that. Through the good and the bad.”</p><p>And another whine from Louis that he couldn’t help from creeping out. He was just a blurt of emotions at this point. “Yeah, but you had dinner made for us at your flat and I ruined it—“</p><p>“Baby,” Harry interrupted softly. Firmly. “Maksim called me and said you weren’t well, I don’t mind food going to waste if you’re not alright. Besides, I brought it with me. We can have it later, maybe after we nap?” </p><p>Louis didn’t say anything and Harry continued. </p><p>“Wanna talk about something? Maybe about how you’re feeling or about penguins?” It tickled a laugh out of Louis, short and wet, before they laid in a thick silence. </p><p>“I feel broken, sometimes. Like I don’t know how to be without her. And I know that it’s not good and I put all that sadness and frustration with myself into figure-skating. And I think I’m tired of feeling the way I do, feeling stuck because of my own stubbornness. And I-I think I want to get help, but I’m scared.”</p><p>He whispered the words as soft as he could, secretly hoping that Harry wouldn’t hear them, but he did and he gave Louis a kiss to the nose. </p><p>“I-I’ve never had like, I don’t know what I’m saying,” Louis huffed out. “I love ice skating, I love it so so much and I don’t care that I didn’t have a normal childhood because I didn’t want it. I wanted the life I chose and she supported me through it even when she didn’t agree with giving out her child to the world all for the sake of the silly little sport I loved. And I feel like it’s my only connection to her sometimes, where I don’t feel alone because people know that I skate well and they expect that of me. It’s easier to fall into what I know I can do, to pretend on the ice because it pleases people. I feel like I work myself to the bone because I owe it to her, for every one of her sacrifices, I can pay her back with a medal or a trophy.”</p><p>The words simmered in the air like fireworks falling from the sky, the soft afterglow of ashes after the big boom. He focused on anything but the calculating he knew Harry was taking.</p><p>“Thank you for sharing that with me, baby. You’re so brave, darling, really. You are the bravest, strongest person I know and it’s even more courageous that you’re even sharing this with me. I love you, Louis, and I want you to be happy. I’m here to support you with whatever you want to do and we can reach out to see a counselor if you’d like,” Harry’s voice was low and calming and it sounded like homecoming. </p><p>“W-We?” Louis timidly asked, fingers playing with the shoelace of the man’s hoodie. </p><p>Harry craned his neck to peer at Louis. “Of course, I mean. Like. You’d get counseling on your own and maybe me too, because everyone needs counseling. And like, then we can do some together because you went through something that is extremely hard to get through and I want to learn how I can be supportive in the best way, you know? If you’re okay with that, of course,” Harry said it so easily, casual as if talking about the weather. </p><p>Louis accepted that today was just an emotional day for him and wasn’t surprised when more tears came. </p><p>“You’re perfect, you know that?” Louis croaked. “And I love you.”</p><p>Harry smiled, bright and proud. “I love you, darling. We’re a team now, like bacon and Yorkshire.”</p><p>Louis giggled wetly, sniffling just a bit more. “Like bacon and Yorkshire.”</p><p>Harry hummed “Baby Shark” to get him to laugh again, tickling him just twice before bringing him back in for a cuddle. Clifford had hopped on the bed moments after and attacked Louis in a dog-kiss frenzy before snuggling in between Harry and Louis. It made them both laugh in fondness and Harry scruffed Clifford’s ears while talking to him in his goofy animal voice. </p><p>Louis watched with hearts and love dancing in a fire being his heart and eyes when Harry caught him and sent him a grin. </p><p>“Like our child, innit?” He laughed before playing with the black dog again. And yeah, Louis’ heart stuttered as he agreed. Clifford was like their child. And in the future, maybe he’d have a couple of siblings, human siblings that looked just like Harry and Louis. </p><p>Little children with dark curls and green eyes, or blonde like he’d seen in Harry’s baby photos, or with blue eyes and freckles. Maybe little hockey stars or ice-skaters or anything they wanted to be. He wanted them so badly, found himself dreaming of as many kids as possible that Harry would love and care for and be the father of. He’d make an excellent father, always so patient and just a hint of mischief, and Louis wanted to see it. Wanted to make him a father, wanted to be truly happy beside Harry and their little family and raise them just like his mum raised him. </p><p>“Harry,” Louis interrupted the little play-talk Cliff and Harry were in the middle of. He looked up immediately. </p><p>“Yeah, love?”</p><p>“Can we unpack the boxes tomorrow?”</p><p>Harry beamed at him, big teeth blinding Louis with the pride booming off Harry. “‘Course, darling. I love you.” </p><p>“I love you,” Louis said back like it was second nature. Harry’s eyes wandered around Louis’ face, to his nose and his freckles, but Louis wasn’t done yet. “Harry?”</p><p>“Yes, Louis?” He still had that same smile on his face. </p><p>“And can we call for an appointment, sometime soon?” He mumbled and Harry gave him a long kiss, tongue dipping into his mouth with a quick curl before retreating. </p><p>“Of course, babe.”</p><p>“And can we go have bacon burgers and Yorkshire and that place with the yucky mushy peas?”</p><p>Harry laughed, head thrown back before looking back at Louis. “Whatever you want, baby.”</p><p>Louis winced playfully, biting at his bottom lip as he squeezed out one last question. “And can I read to you?”</p><p>Harry was up fetching the book that Louis had been reading for the past few days to Harry over the phone or during sleepovers at Harry’s before jumping back in bed. Louis sat up against the headboard as Harry settled in with his head in his lap, Clifford right under him, and closed his eyes. </p><p>Louis threaded his hand through the curls and held the book open with the other before reading where they’d last left off. Harry asked him what certain words meant, scoffing in disbelief at the absurdity of some of them, humming at some of the more interesting plot points, groaned when the antagonist would appear.</p><p>And when Harry fell asleep, snores loud and nothing short of adorable to Louis, he felt that maybe he was going to be alright. He was going to be just fine. </p><p>-x-</p><p>The air was cold on his face, drying any remaining wetness on his cheeks when he stepped out of the office and onto the street. He felt lighter, weightless, as he walked the now familiar route from the bricked building to the tube station, hopped off the tube after a fifteen minute ride, and out to his bricked building. </p><p>It was an easy day today, just a session with Dr. Lopez that he cried just a little during but felt relief after talking everything out. No skating today as Saturday and Sunday’s were now his designated rest days that Harry mandated with no objection from Louis. If Harry wasn’t back from his training session, he’d try to start the dish that he and Harry were trying to learn together because he knew Harry hated prep. First, he’d have to take Clifford out for a walk. </p><p>One person had asked for an autograph and a picture and he’d gotten a free drink at the tea shoppe so he gave it to an older woman that was bundled in blankets at the station. He had an interesting chat with a man who’d called after him with an amazed “Britain’s Sweetheart!” on the tube.</p><p>He’s surprised people who aren’t fans of ice-skating still remember him because the Games feels like eons ago, but he tries to bask in the attention with his newfound confidence. He’s still a little shy and soft spoken, but he doesn’t startle away when someone calls for him and according to Dr. Lopez, Harry, and himself, that’s a win.</p><p>He always briefly wonders what it would’ve been like if he didn’t shut himself off from the world, if he tried to remain relevant in the media like his fellow Olympians, but he doesn’t dwell on the past with any regret. His future is the better half of his life and he finds him lying on his stomach in his flat. </p><p>Harry’s asleep, snoring with his face half smushed into the couch and pillow markings on the other side of his cheek. His hand is dangling off the side, laying right on top of Clifford on the ground, and his other arm is buried under the cushion he’s resting his head on. He’s snoring loudly, shirtless and in fresh gym shorts and smelling like he just took a shower. His curls are wet and messy everywhere and his body is too big for the small couch, legs awkward and bent to take as much space as he can. </p><p>He looks lovely, even with his obnoxious snoring and open mouthed drooling. He must’ve worked himself down at the gym today, with hockey season coming up he’s pushing himself as much as he can handle. </p><p>Louis drops his key chain that has a bunch of silly little charms Harry bought for him when he gave him a key to his flat right onto the counter, sets down the styrofoam cups of tea beside them. He touches the photo of his mum briefly, the one that's on display for everyone who comes in to see immediately. He tells her he loves her and he knows that she knows that his therapy session went great today. </p><p>His flat is full of boxes, but they aren’t boxes like the ones before. Those types of boxes are long gone. These boxes are for moving out, pets Clifford, who’s much too tired to even greet him, which means Harry took him for a walk. Not a forever move-out, at least for now, but for a few months. </p><p>Hockey season is coming and Harry’s gonna be in America and Louis is going to go with him. It was an easy decision that Harry felt extremely, pointlessly guilty over. He wouldn’t miss his flat that much, Clifford would like all the space Harry’s Los Angeles home yard had, it was pretty simple. </p><p>He’d miss Hua and Maksim and June, but Harry promised to fly them out for a few games and give them his VIP treatment of hospitality in a country they’d all never really explored. It was just a few months, maybe one extra if the Kings can make it to the Stanley Cup, but Louis was happy to take a break from skating for a just a moment to be every bit of supportive that Harry’s been for him. </p><p>It would feel like a big step, temporarily moving to a foreign country with a man he’d not even been with for a year, but Louis had been ready for marriage on their second date so really, this was simple. He was excited, albeit a little nervous, to meet all of his teammates and their partners and everything else dating a hockey star had to offer. He was ready for all of it. </p><p>He jumped onto Harry’s back, not even putting any pressure on the sturdiness of Harry’s muscles. He cuddled into the place between his shoulder blades, tucking his bare toes into Harry’s socks and letting them into the warmth by Harry’s ankles. It wasn’t all that weird to either of them, sharing socks was probably the least co-dependent thing they did. Their shared therapist said it was fine. </p><p>He placed kisses on the warm skin, poking at a mole, and tried to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck, but the man was too heavy to move. Harry woke up slowly anyways, lifting his head and smacking his lips and wiping away the drool from his mouth. He hummed at Louis when he peered over his shoulder and found the boy snuggled there, smiling when Louis snuck his hands under his neck like a koala, before burying his head back into the couch. </p><p>“How was your session?” Harry mumbled, voice still deep with sleep. He was petting at Cliff’s belly and the dog escaped to jump on Louis. They were all snuggled on top of Harry’s back like a stack of books and Louis loved moments like these, had just told Dr. Lopez all about them. </p><p>“It was good, really good. I set up our appointment with Dr. Kish while I was there, it’s next Thursday. And we got the go-ahead for over-the-phone appointments for when we leave,” Louis mumbled right back. </p><p>Harry hummed, back vibrating underneath Louis. “Thank you, lovely. I’m glad we can keep them as our counselors, it’d be weird seeing American ones. They wouldn’t understand our British emotions, I feel.”</p><p>He was still silly with sleep and sleep always made him say the silliest things. Louis laughed, pinching at the skin on Harry’s neck. “You’re practically American, H.”</p><p>Harry huffed under him, glancing back with one eye open and the other squinted. It was such an awkward angle for his poor neck, Louis got off immediately. “Am not, I’m as Brit as they come. I’m fucking Britian’s Sweetheart, cleanses me of every American-ness in me every time I stick my dick in ya.”</p><p>Louis laughed loudly, going to hit Harry when the man finally sat up and placed him on his lap. </p><p>“You’re bloody crude and indecent, Harold. Now go get us our tea before it gets cold,” He kicked a foot out at him, kicking him again when Harry pinched his toes and gave them a quick kiss. </p><p>“Are they from that one shoppe? Wassit called? That one where that one kid was hitting on you?” Harry’s voice echoed throughout the flat as he left to go to the table.</p><p>Louis giggled softly at the memory, petting Clifford behind his ears when he laid his furry head in his lap. The boy at the telly had tried to flirt with Louis one time, stuttering out an awkward compliment before confessing that he had a crush on Louis when he was younger. He wrote his number on the cup and Louis didn’t even realize it until Harry threw a fit like a toddler. </p><p>“He’s like nineteen, love. He’s a puny little thing. Thought you knew I like men who could toss me around a little,” He took the cup from Harry with a wink. Harry smirked right back at him, letting him take a sip before snatching it away and putting it on the ground. Louis was going to complain and kick at him again but he was tackled to the couch, body pinned down by a heavier one. </p><p>“You’re so sexy,” Harry bit into his neck, hot air making Louis giggle. The fact that Harry was so easily turned on and ready to do anything remotely sexual was also always amusing. “Let me eat you out a little, baby.”</p><p>He was pouting, puppy eyes like he was asking for a treat at the shop. He was ridiculously attractive, even when he was being a meathead. Louis laughed at him and tried to push him off. </p><p>“Let me go, Harry!” Louis laughed when Harry licked at him, pretending to be disgusted when really, nothing was disgusting between them anymore. “We were going to cook and finish getting my stuff ready.”</p><p>Harry growled, all falsely intimidating and pretending to be macho. “I already finished the stuff you wanted packed in your room. Let me eat my other meal.” </p><p>Louis giggled at him again, neck stretching to escape the wet attack on the column of his throat and the grinds of Harry’s lower half on his knees. He felt Harry smack at the side of his thigh, heavy and playful and Louis knew he was going to give in eventually. He’d already had the minute Harry suggested it, but he liked to be difficult. </p><p>“You wore these leggings,” Harry whined at him, pulling at the waistband to let it snap against Louis’ tummy. “And you look so fucking good, baby. I wanna eat you out, thought about it all day at the gym and when I was packing your skate-dresses. I love your body, baby. Doesn’t even have to be eating you out, I could fuck your thighs or your legs or your tummy or––”</p><p>“Harry! Shut up,” Louis cackled, taking the man’s face between his small hands. His stubble was tickling the palm of Louis’ hands and he’d felt this stubble tickle other areas before. </p><p>Harry kissed his nose. “Or we can makeout. Or we can cook that dish we’ve been saying we were gonna do and then fuck. Or we can also go to bed.” Even after all this time, Harry was still the ever polite and reassuring Prince Charming Louis loved. </p><p>“I love you,” Louis said, placing a kiss on the bow of Harry’s lips, just below his nose. </p><p>Harry smiled, Louis’ fingers automatically sliding into his dimples. “I love you.”</p><p>“So are you gonna eat me out or what?”</p><p>He only caught a tiny glimpse of the brightness of Harry’s face before he was being thrown over Harry’s shoulder, dangling upside down and laughing as he bounced with every step Harry rushed to take to the bedroom. </p><p>“I’m not doing any of the work!” Louis shouted, cackling when he was tossed on the bed and Harry grabbed at his hoodie. He yanked off Louis’ leggings, massaging at the athletic tape around his ankle, laughing when Louis’ body was being jostled so easily with the force of Harry’s strength.</p><p>“Of course not, love,” Harry winked, kissing Louis breathless. “Your job is always gonna be to sit back and look pretty. Don’t cum until I say so.”</p><p>He gave one last peck before diving down, shoving Louis’ thighs up to his chest with one hand and working quickly. </p><p>They never got around to making the dish until a few hours later, when Louis was finished crying for a different reason and he came out of his floating, spacey feeling completely. His legs were a different kind of sore, he limped for another reason that usual, and he could not complain one bit.</p><p>He was bundled up in Harry’s old hockey jersey that had been thrown around on his dresser, pressed up against the counter with his legs bracketing Harry, who leaned into his space and was buried in his neck. He told Harry to keep stirring when the man would forget and lose himself in kissing at the love bites on Louis’ shoulder. Clifford was munching on a new treat that Harry had bought him and there was music playing softly over the loud noise of London below them. </p><p>He’d always thought he’d be just fine, but this was better than even that. </p><p>-x-</p><p>Harry remembers coming home from a boring day at school to seeing his mum clapping and smiling at the telly with a joy he hadn’t seen on her in forever. Not to say she was sad before, but she was absolutely beaming with pride at that moment. He and Gemma were bewildered at her, dropping their bags by the door and rushed to see what was on the screen. </p><p>Anne loved watching the Olympics, dressed everyone in as many union-jack articles of clothing she could find. Harry was never particularly vested in the games, enjoyed the unity of the nation with only the distanced appreciation any child has maybe. all the adults in his life, teachers, and parents, and even his pastor, loved it and maybe it was because they were a small town that had nothing but national pride. </p><p>Either way, Harry didn’t see the fuss. the games hadn’t even started yet, Anne just watching the trials and tryouts for each sport whenever she could. That was so boring to Harry, he only cared when they won. Gemma, however, squealed in delight when the camera panned to a small boy on the screen, too far away for any of his details to be noted. </p><p>“Mum! It’s him! Did he make it through? Please tell me he did, please, please, please!” Gemma bounced up and down, tugging on Anne's arm as Anne smiled big and happy. </p><p>“He did, baby! He made it though!” and together they jumped and laughed out all their excitement. </p><p>Harry watched them a bit grumpily, pouting because he was still a child with the need for attention and a jealous streak, but also because he didn’t understand what was happening. When he asked, Gemma rolled her eyes as she always does when Harry asked a question, and told him that Louis Tomlinson qualified for the Olympics. </p><p>He was still confused. Gemma rolled her eyes again and said, quite rudely, “Look!” and pointed a finger at the telly. </p><p>A young boy about Harry’s age was zoomed into the camera, blushing a bright red and breathing heavily and as he bowed. The crowd was cheering for him loudly and every movement he made was bashful and flustered. He had on a very nice skate dress that was purple. His name, hometown, skate scores, and all sorts of information was in a banner on the bottom half of the screen. He was really young, especially compared to all the other competitors, which was the second thing he noticed. </p><p>The first was that the boy was easily the prettiest in the entire world, the prettiest boy Harry’s ever seen. He felt his asthma squeeze his throat and his heart beat faster and his hands get a little more clammy. </p><p>“Isn’t he so pretty? I want to marry him, mum, and I’ll ask him to let you wear his medals.”</p><p>Anne laughed and played along with Gemma’s little fantasy, about the boy and gemma wearing matching dresses and learning to skate. Harry wanted to stamp his foot and tell her no, that she wasn’t going to marry him, but he’d only get scolded for his green streak, so he glowered in the distance. </p><p>“Harry, you’re drooling. you can’t have a crush on him because I had a crush on him first, so he’s mine.” And Harry stamped his foot this time. </p><p>“Shut up! I don’t have a crush on him.” He lied because Harry had only become a teenager recently and was much too prideful to admit that he did have crushes here and there. </p><p>They continued to bicker until Anne scolded them and sent them to their rooms. Harry stomped his way up the stairs, followed by gems who stomped louder, and collapsed onto his tiny twin bed, facing the popcorn ceiling. </p><p>He couldn't stop thinking about the boy no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t really try, but it turns out, Louis Tomlinson was everywhere. The entire country was captivated by the small boy who skated better than anyone else, who twirled in the air as if he could fly, and he was put on the cover of every magazine the British Olympic Team was on, front and center with all the other athletes positioned around him. He was interviewed by every talk show host on tv, blushing and mumbling out shy answers in sharp outfits. At school, all of Harry's classmates talked about Louis, words of admiration for his talent and sometimes, his looks, but Harry ignored anyone who spoke of the latter. </p><p>Everyone knew everything about little Louis Tomlinson, the new national treasure. they loved everything about him, but if there was one thing that was in the constant talks, it was his close relationship with his mother. it was sweet, how much they cared for one another. </p><p>That year, Louis won gold in every single category he placed, breaking international records, being lifted onto the shoulders of Britain’s Team like a younger sibling. He was praised by everyone, opponents, and the Queen herself. Harry had never been prouder. </p><p>Louis kissed his mum on the cheek before thanking her in every post-game interview, explaining how she sewed all his outfits and was his biggest supporter. He thanked Hua and Maksim for taking a chance on him, and everyone else for being so kind to him. </p><p>Harry's obsession hadn’t gone unnoticed by his family and when Louis’ second games came around, Harry was right next to Anne in-country gear. When the day came, the day that Harry cried and cried and cried, only half a year before the Olympics started, the media had announced that Louis’ mother had passed. </p><p>It was heartbreaking and it seemed to send the entire nation into a state of mourning over the loss of their favorite mother. Louis wasn’t the same, didn’t send cheeky smiles to his teammates, or run around with them. He rarely smiled and didn’t participate in the press tour. It broke Harry's heart and he sniffled into Anne's neck when they watched Louis’ final performance, the host announcing that he was wearing a costume his mother had seen for him and dedicated his performance to her. </p><p>He'd won gold, of course, multiple medals around his neck at the closing ceremonies, but he wasn’t happy. He was strong and Harry admired him much more after that. </p><p>Now, watching Louis skate with Clifford bouncing around beside him, little boots on to protect his paw, Harry can say that Louis’ happy and Harry’s never been more in love, more proud, more happy, more in awe of Louis.</p><p>He loves Louis, he loves everything about him. His strength, both mentally and physically, his endearing shyness that encases his cheekiness and how witnessing Louis’ playful side is something to earn, to start off. He loves louis’ attentiveness, how he remembers the little things about everyone he loves and even strangers he’s just met. He loves how Louis is the kindest person he knows, how loving he is, how he makes everyone laugh even when he’s told Harry about how insecure he gets when he talks to people. He loves that Louis helps the kids at the rink with their lessons. He loves the way louis’ brain works, he’s calculated and thoughtful but impulsive and silly. </p><p>He loves how easy it has been to love Louis, because loving Louis came just as natural to Harry as breathing. With every breath Harry takes, with every blink of his eye, with every movement of his body, with every thought swirling in his mind, Harry loves louis.</p><p>The boy who’s Britain’s Sweetheart, a national fucking treasure with arms full of gold medals from the fucking olympics and trophies from competitions, a celebrity with a pretty decent sized following. But he’s also the boy who wears clothes that are too big, walks around barefoot and showing off his cute feet and taped up ankles, cuddles with Clifford in their bed, who has taken Mitch's spot as his best friend. </p><p>He looked beautiful in his dress, a pretty blue one that Harry saw and knew would look gorgeous on him. He picked it out for him, just like Louis’ mother did for him. Louis wanted Harry to pick his dresses from now on and trusted him enough to pass on a tradition so important to him. </p><p>Louis was strong, Harry’s always known, but it never failed to make him a bit weepy at his boy. He hated that Louis felt sad sometimes, hated when he’d get into his bouts of panic and depression, but Louis never failed to get back up. He was so open about everything, would tell Harry how he was feeling and was so honest that Harry couldn’t help but tear up sometimes. </p><p>He went to therapy, still called their counselor sometimes, but Louis felt good enough about himself and his ability to express his emotions that he didn’t need it regularly. Harry was so proud when the counselor told them that maybe they’d have to stop the regular sessions a year back, he’d treated Louis to a million books at the shop. </p><p>He wasn’t shy anymore, not with Harry. He was honest and kind and sweet and cheeky and beautiful and loving and Harry was so in love with him. Their few years had been amazing but not long enough, which was fine because Harry had the rest of his life ahead of him. He was going to spend the rest of his life with him, he had never been more sure of anything. </p><p>He felt it with every working cell in his body and with the ghost of a tiny little black box’s weight he had hidden at the top of their closet. </p><p>His mother had wobbled towards Louis, reaching out for his hand and Louis laughed but reassured her as he held onto her gloved fingers. Gemma was somewhere on the rink with James, but Harry focused on Louis and his mother. </p><p>They’d become so close, like the bestest of friends. Louis hung out with Anne more than Harry did, called her almost regularly and took her everywhere with him. He loved it, loved that his boy and his mum were so comfortable and loved each other. Harry reckons it’s because Louis misses having a motherly figure and didn’t want to depend on Harry for everything, even if Harry didn’t mind one bit. He also supposed that Louis and Anne shared the commonality of having lost someone so close to them, and knew when he should stay home instead of go with Louis to Anne’s house because they might need to vent. Or when they pulled off to the side and whispered to one another and gave comforting hugs that he should take quiet steps back and keep himself busy for a minute. </p><p>He didn’t mind it one bit. </p><p>His family all came down from home to watch Louis perform, always eager to see Louis look regal and magical on the ice rink. Anne was always so proud of Louis, kissing him on the cheeks and hugging him so tight and making Harry just a little jealous because he was Louis’ number one fan. </p><p>This weekend was different than the other times they’ve come down to see Louis perform. Hockey season had just finished and him and Louis just came back from spending the months in America, so they missed his family a bit. They’d have a nice dinner after the show to catch up, head home and Harry was going to let his boy ride him in his pretty dress—Harry had yet to not pop a stiffy at how sexy confidence paired with an ice skating dress looked on Louis—and then the next day, they’d go out to a nice little park in the evening. </p><p>It was decorated beautifully for the holidays and Harry knew how much Louis loved pretty lights and fireworks. It wouldn’t be too busy, since it’s a weekday and it’s a bit further out into the countryside, and it’d be perfect for Harry to ask Louis the one question he’s had on his mind since he was a silly boy in secondary. </p><p>He’d already asked Hua and Maksim and June for permission, right after he’d driven the forty-five it took to get to where Louis’ mother was resting. He’s spent time with her alone before, because he knew how much it meant to Louis and how much it meant to himself. </p><p>He got to know Louis’ mother through Louis’ stories of her, about her kindness and generosity and her witty humor. Hua and Maksim and June told him, too, but hearing the ones from Louis never failed to warm his heart. He got The Kings to partner with the charity that she founded, after Louis decided that he wanted to take charge of it, and got to learn about all the other giving things she did. He got to see her beautiful face on the big hanging portrait in their home, along with all the millions of other photos featuring a young Louis and his smiling mother that Harry needed to decorate the home. He loved her, admired her extremely so. </p><p>And even then, staring at the picture on the marble stone, showing the ring that he planned to put on Louis’ dainty little finger, he’d never been more intimidated in his life. </p><p>In that moment, he overthought all his worst fears. He worried that he wasn’t good enough for Louis, he wasn’t deserving of the boy who made him food and gave him his leftovers to fill his never ending pit of an appetite. The boy who left him sweet little notes in his hockey bag and around the house, who read him books so Harry could fall asleep faster. The boy who always let Harry ramble and ramble. The same boy who went to everyone of his games that didn’t interfere with his competitions, who moved his life to America for hockey season every year for the few months it happened. The boy with the heart of gold and—</p><p>All Harry could do was thank her. Thank her for raising the best person he knows, for raising the smartest, sweetest boy in the entire world. He told her that he loved her for all she’s done, but mostly for giving him the bravest person in the universe. Harry felt connected to her because of their love for Louis. She took good care of Louis in her time, loved him with all that she could give, and Harry was going to do the same, never going to stop taking care of him or loving him. He couldn’t stop himself from crying, but he was going to keep every promise he made her because Louis deserved everything and more. </p><p>Deserved love and happiness and a nice house with as many kids as he wanted and—</p><p>“Whatcha thinking about?”</p><p>He was startled out his thoughts when Louis came skating towards him, his mum leaving the rink with Gemma and James and Clifford. </p><p>He smiled, couldn’t help it when he was with his boy. </p><p>“About how you said you would ride me in your pretty little dress that I picked out for you,” Harry smirked, winking and wiggling his eyebrows. </p><p>Louis huffed out a giggle, just the faintest hint of a blush. Harry always did everything in his power to make that blush and giggle come out, they were the prettiest things on Louis. </p><p>“Were you really, you sly dog?” Louis narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over good chest, skating at the slowest speed possible. His smile was still there, Louis wasn’t very good at being mean. </p><p>“Mm,” Harry thought for a moment. “At first. Couldn't help it! Your waist and your legs and your fucking arse—“</p><p>Louis slapped him, mouth hung open in a laugh as he skated away from Harry’s wandering hands and when he attempted to grope him. “You’re disgusting, Harold! I cannot believe—Hey!”</p><p>He was swept up easily when Harry chased after him, arms caging in his hips and skating off with Louis giggling away. “Don’t drop me or I’m leaving you for Gemma!”</p><p>Which, no.</p><p>Because Louis was his, had always been, was never Gemma’s in the first place. And because Gems was a woman. </p><p>He placed Louis down gently but not before stealing a long kiss and an easy grope at his waist, so close to his bum. Louis would surely hit him and he knew better than that, especially when his mum was probably watching. She was surely going to scold him for it later and claim she’d raised a better man than that, but she just didn’t understand that the effect Louis had on him made him both a better man and a lesser man weak to his lust.</p><p>“In all honesty, I was just thinking about how nice the next few days are going to be,” Harry said, fighting to keep his eyes from fluttering when Louis ran his fingers through his curls. “Gonna wine and dine you, baby boy.” </p><p>Louis was happy about it, he knew it, but his boy liked to play dramatic. “Are you sure we can’t just stay home and cuddle?”</p><p>Harry gasped, mock offended as he dove into bite at Louis’ cheeks, forcing the boy to squeak. “I want to wine and dine the love of my life as a thank you for being so good to me, and he doesn’t want it.”</p><p>He threw in a pouty face for good measure because he was as dramatic as his boy, and Louis rolled his eyes fondly. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I’m the best wife in the world, Styles. Put a ring on it,” Louis wiggled his eyebrows, cheeky and teasing and Harry’s heart stopped for a moment. </p><p>“What?” He blurted, mind blanking in a panic and Louis looked confused. “W-Who—“</p><p>“It was a joke, H,” Louis murmured, sending him strange looks. He felt his forehead and cheeks with the back of his hand for a temperature like he always did when Harry did anything, always concerned like a mother hen. “But I’ve got to run, they should be opening up the arena soon. Are you guys going to head to your seats or come back with me?”</p><p>Harry tried to stop choking, coughing pathetically harshly and shooed away the pats to his back. “No, no, we’ll head to the box. Good luck, you’ll do amazing.”</p><p>Louis smiled sweetly, all previous concern gone. “I love you!” He shouted as he skated away after giving Harry a good Goddamn kiss. </p><p>Gemma gave him the piss and his mum was too excited to make fun and he stressed over it even when Hua and Maksim and June arrived, but the minute the performance started and his boy was in the center of the spotlight, he could breathe again. </p><p>Watching Louis perform still gave him the rush and thrill it did when he was younger, memorized by Louis’ body and jumps and twirls. It was the same then, the same when they’d first met, the same now, the same later and Harry means this with everything he has. The other performers were good, too, but Louis was a moving piece of art. It was fascinating and he couldn’t tear his eyes away, even when little James clapped and shouted out for Lou-Bear or when Clifford whined for treats. His eyes had only been for Louis, had been since he’d seen him on the screen all those years ago. </p><p>His boy killed his performance, couldn’t catch all the flowers thrown at him, but he caught the ones Harry threw and looked right at him as he gave his final bow, blowing a kiss right at him, pretty dress flowing as he skated off the stage. </p><p>He loved Louis and he had forever to prove it to him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank u for reading! i hope you enjoyed it and i hope you have a good day/night. love you!</p><p>follow me :)</p><p> <br/><a href="https://harriblou.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/harriblou">twitter</a></p><p> </p><p> a big note: i wrote this a while ago and it was short and sweet but then, i lost someone and i came back to this fic with a lot more to say. i feel like grieving is something that's different for everyone and sometimes, people need a push to even grieve properly and that is valid! and sometimes in life, we're given people who help along the way and make it easier. dealing with depression and anxiety isn't a losing battle and i wanted to show that you can make it, alone or with someone, but you can do it! i do it alone, louis does it with harry LOL but keep fighting!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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